Living Blind
by Estriel
Summary: Mina. Far from ordinary, not an ideal heroine. But aren't those the best ones? Those that surprise us, and evoke admiration? Not truly a member of the fellowship, yet sharing some of their journey. Updated 10/09/08.
1. Lost yet Lucky

_ **Living Blind: Prologue**_

The world is dark to me. I build pictures in my mind, and can only remember what colour used to be. Since the fire two years ago which occurred just after my parents revealed the truth to me, I have been blind, and its something that is, unfortunately, my own fault. I am lucky that no one died.

I have a guide dog, called Troy who is a German Shepard, specially trained from puppy-hood for someone like me.

I am lucky to have him. Well, apart from the blindness, I am un-scarred physically about my torso and head, thanks to a plastic surgeon. I am lucky that I can walk and that the damage to my arms can be hidden if I try.

My name is Mina, which means silver in Latin. I wear a lot of silver- although I don't know what I wear often, I like to try and make an effort to look normal, because I am. The accident left me a normal person, with normal feelings, and I can tell when people see me as 'different'. More 'fragile' emotionally. Actually, I can be quite tough- my disability has taught me that I must look out for myself, because nobody else can- ironic, eh?

Well, this is my notebook, my dictation, my memories, of events that healed me and maimed others, and I WILL let my feelings free.

Chapter One

Mina laid down her Dictaphone, and felt her way over to her remote control- the braille telling her which button was play. Soon the sound of Beethoven's fifth filled the room, soothing her. She loved listening to classical music.

She drew pictures in her mind, and let silky voices calm her, take away the bitterness she had heard in her voice as she spoke into her Dictaphone, and let rough male voices interest her. Sometimes an performer's tone spoke volumes to her- how he felt at that precise moment. She had never allowed any friends to describe the performer's to her, preferring to build a portrait in her mind. It made her extremely happy. She sank into her sofa, listening, imagining. Then her father entered her room at a run, causing her to turn abruptly, and silence the music.

"What is it?" She asked, alarmed.

"We must leave." He replied softly, and began gathering her things.

"Milady?!" A man shaking her- wet grass, cool air, and darkness. She sat up and gasped.

"Where am I?" Suddenly Troy's wet nose touched her hand, and his hot breath warmed her. Slightly reassured, she tried to stand, taking Troy's harness in hand.

"Sir, please tell me who you are- I am blind and cannot see you."

She felt his surprise, heard his intake of breath.

"My name is Boromir, of Gondor, and who might you be, lady?"

"I am Mina of, erm, Berkshire, and where am I?" He solicitously took her hand.

"Lady, I mean you no harm, but this is not a safe place. Would you accompany me to our camp? I will take your bag."

Not having much of a choice, she smiled and agreed. His hands were hard and callused, weathered and rough, yet careful. Troy led her, Boromir warning her at big roots and slopes, after she had almost fallen once. She could hear trees and bushes everywhere, and a million other 'outdoor' noises that a person who can see may never notice.

"Who goes there?" Their approach was challenged- a soft, yet hard voice. Commanding, it forced Troy to halt momentarily.

"'Tis naught but I, Legolas. We have a female guest." Boromir replied, the wind snatching his words and flinging them away. She shivered, and pulled her clothes tighter about her. The terrain grew less rough, and she felt the absence of trees in the decrease of shelter from the wind, then felt the cover of a camp well chosen. Warmth to her right indicated a campfire, and there were people, although how many she knew not. She had taken note of the names, and was inclined to keep quiet about the possibilities. She was not yet sure what to believe, or if she was dreaming- which did seem most likely.

"Welcome, milady. What do you in this most inhospitable place?" Boromir had seated her, on a cloak of some sort she suspected, and Troy lay by her legs. He did not seem to fear or dislike the strangers, au contraire, the soft voice of Legolas made him whimper for attention.

"Thank you Boromir. If you are Legolas, and you Boromir, where is Gandalf?" It had just occurred to Mina that, being a Wizard, he might be able to help her as much as she could help him. Someone rose, and another sat nearby, to her left she thought, and yet another person walked away towards the fire. She heard murmuring, but the person sitting to her left was speaking to her.

"Mistress Mina, are you without guards? Forgive me if I offend, but your situation suggests the advisability of an escort." She smiled gently, Legolas was perceptive indeed. He already knew that she had money, was blind, was alone, and might be afraid and therefore defensive. "Yes I am alone, although it was no my intent to go so far by myself, I admit. Troy is an escort of sorts, although it is hard for him on this rough and uneven ground."

"You are lost?" Another perceptive question.

"Yes, lost but lucky. I have found you, after all."

Legolas watched the girl in the black velvet cloak grasp her animal's fur nervously. Auburn hair strayed from under the hood, and about her face, which was mortally pretty. She smiled with red lips, and moved cautiously, gracefully, with a control of her limbs only seen before by him in other elves. So this, he thought, is the effect of blindness on mortals.

Lost, but lucky. Extremely lucky to have found himself and his companions on this dark, chill night. Orcs and foul things roamed the world these days, and who knew how long her luck would last?


	2. Getting to know You

For Tinkoo, who righteously demanded more. Ask and ye shall receive, dude!  
  
Chapter Two- Getting to Know You...  
  
Mina sat quietly on her log, hands folded in her lap, acutely aware of Legolas' searching gaze upon her. Having been blind for a while, her other senses had become incredibly heightened, and she had heard his collar rustle as her turned to look at her.  
  
The cool breeze stroked her naked face, and she let her lips curl in a gentle smile, displaying her non-threatening qualities. He watched her for a while, then sighed softly and turned away.  
  
"May I call you Legolas, your Highness?" The question had surprised him; she heard his slight intake of breath. Troy shifted slightly by her feet, lying on them and warming her. There was a smile in his voice as he replied.  
  
"It would be a great honour if you would do so, Lady." His voice was so clear and sweet, like the tingling of glass when tapped with a spoon. She smiled back, aware of his unearthliness and feeling curiously polite; as if she would embarrass herself with anything less than the utmost courtesy.  
  
"Legolas, where is this place? I mean, roughly- near Hollin?" She guarded her tongue- she could not have given any other examples because of the unknown retracing of steps to follow, when they would leave Caradhras and Aragorn would persuade Gandalf to take the Mines of Moria. He thought for a moment, and then shifted closer to her.  
  
"We are camped between Hollin and Caradhras, our destination for the moment. Are you sure I can get you nothing?.."  
  
She heard two sets of feet heading towards them, interrupting them, and a new voice spoke to her.  
  
"Lady, I am Gandalf the Grey. My companion Boromir tells me that you are lost?" His voice was gravelly and rich, warm and textured. Nearly the opposite of Legolas, apart from the clearness they shared which had been entirely absent from Boromir's voice. The owner of the second pair of feet was making her nervous, by not admitting to his prescence and identity- she could sense a peculiar sort of confidence emitting from him, and was not sure if the person intended evil. She strained her senses as she replied.  
  
"Hopelessly lost, Gandalf the Grey. I have been walking for a few hours, when I fainted and the next thing I knew, Boromir was waking me up, for which I thank him profusely."  
  
~Shift of POV Mina's Pov~  
  
His voice came from behind me, making me jump. I had been focussing so hard on Gandalf and the unknown person; I had not even noticed his approach.  
  
"Twas a pleasure and an honour, Lady. I am glad to be of use." I was beyond nervous now; I think the shock was dawning, and I was beginning to get frightened- the unannounced prescence might not have realised that I could not see him, but he was so still and so silent that I hardly knew he was there.  
  
"I must apologise, but I can sense there is another nearby, and I would ask that he speak, for his silence is frightening me." I had learned, with losing my sight, a direct honestly that had served me well since I had gained it, and so I did not care that I had to admit my fear.  
  
"The apologies should be mine, Lady, for I did not introduce myself. I am Strider, a ranger from the North- what did you mean when you said you could sense me?" Gandalf moved nearer to me, causing Troy to sit up. "Forgive me, Mina, I will explain. You are blind, are you not?" I nodded sadly, then thought- how did he know my name?  
  
"Aragorn, the loss of one sense often encourages the other four to grow; I should think Lady Mina heard you breathing. Am I right? Good. Well Lady Mina, I am afraid we only have an earthen bed and a blanket to offer you, if you wish to sleep this night within our camp. We must discuss this when all the members of our party are awake, and they need their rest so we cannot waken them now, you see?" I nodded, aware of the irony that had blatantly escaped the wizard's notice.  
  
"My thanks, and I would accept gladly. I would appreciate the company. I may offer something in return; Troy is an excellent hunter, and catches all manner of rabbits, hares and animals- he will hunt at dawn, as he always has." Strider seemed much interested in Troy.  
  
"What sort of a beast is he? He is much like a hound, but larger and more muscular." I smiled and reached to pet my dog's head. He whimpered and rubbed his nose along my palm.  
  
"Troy is a type of hound that has been bred, in my land, to guard people and help them. He protects me, guides me, feeds me and cares for me in every manner he can. In return, I love him greatly, as he loves me, and when I can, I look after him. He has my trust totally."  
  
Legolas seemed incredulous, but impressed, as did Boromir, Aragorn and Gandalf by their movements. "Troy does this all because of love? He is a most intelligent and kingly beast!" Troy whimpered, and I knew what he wanted- the elf attracted animals to him somehow, by the force of his nature and Troy felt it strongly.  
  
"If you would like to touch him, I think he would like it, Legolas." I heard Legolas's sleeves rustle as he gently stroked Troy's back, and my dog whined in pleasure and, to all's amusement, rolled over. "Troy..." Strider stepped forwards. "My Lady Mina, may I rub his stomach? I had a hound once, named Tarsus, but he is long dead."  
  
The longing in his voice surprised me. I nodded and smiled. While Troy was being thoroughly spoilt by the elf and the ranger, Boromir moved away, and Gandalf asked me if I would let him lead me to a place nearer the fire. Needless to say, I let him, and his skin felt old, wrinkled, rough in places- yet...Alive, and warm, soft and magically comforting.  
  
I was cautiously and easily led to a place where I could hear someone laying out a blanket on the ground, and I could feel the bright warmth of the fire on my cheeks. Boromir (the person laying blankets, I discovered) helped Gandalf settle me, and then took his leave, telling me he would be within call. Gandalf also left, and I curled up to sleep, head pillowed on my arms. Just as I was dropping off, a warm weight that smelled doggy padded over and slumped by my back. Good old Troy.  
  
I was awoken the next morning, while it was still dark. Contrary to popular belief, I can tell if it is night or day time, mainly using common sense- for example, fires are put out when it is light, and people tend not to bump into each other, as I had just heard Boromir and someone else do.  
  
"Whuff?"  
  
Troy snuffled in my ear, telling me good morning. Somehow, his harness had been removed before I slept, and replaced again this morning- it had to be Legolas or Aragorn's doing, as Troy is trained not to allow people to move his halter unless he knows them, and only a long petting session as well as my prescence would count as 'knowing' even for such honourable males.  
  
"Morning Troy. Have you been hunting yet?" A person walked up to me on the right, light footed. I thought it was Legolas until he spoke. "Aye, he has, and brought back a whole boar- not a bad sized one either! It had a nasty cut on its leg and couldn't get away fast enough, Strider and Boromir reckon. Good Morning, Miss, I'm Meriadoc Brandybuck, at your service, and your family's."  
  
I smiled slightly. "I am afraid my service will have to do Master Meriadoc, I have no family. No matter- I appreciate your courtesy, and offer friendship in return. Have you met Troy?" Meriadoc shook his head noisily and turned nervously towards my Alsatian /Irish Wolf-hound cross. He did, from a perspective of 3" 6, seem just a little intimidating. I called Troy, and stretched out my hand; two seconds later, his head was under my hand.  
  
"Troy, Meriadoc is a friend, alright?" I turned to Meriadoc. "Merry, give me your hand." He did, and I stroked Troy's soft fur with his hand. He gasped with pleasure as Troy affectionately sat on his feet.  
  
"He likes me!" He exclaimed, and another childish voice asked "Will it like me?" I smiled gladly; this was clearly Meriadoc's companion. "I am sure he will, sir. May I introduce myself?" The footsteps so light I had almost missed them came closer, and an even younger voice than Meriadoc's replied happily. "It would be a pleasure if you would, lady. I am Peregrin Took, but you can call me Pip, or Pippin." I reached out a hand to shake, and remembered that they didn't do that here. Quickly I pretended to reach out to Troy, and whispered his name, which made him shuffle over to me.  
  
"This is Troy, and my name is Mina. I am very pleased to meet you, Pip, and master Meriadoc..." Pip interrupted me, laughing and saying, "Oh, do call him Merry, everyone does, although he's a little shy around ladies sometimes, especially pretty ones...This one time, in Hobbiton...Ow!"  
  
From the thump, I imagined that Merry had hit Pippin in an effort to shut him up, and was now blushing. I laughed, and everything seemed to be still for a second, as talk and work alike paused.  
  
"I would like very much to call you both Merry and Pippin. Could you please pass me my bag? I don't know where it is." A pause. "It's right beside you, lady. Can you not see it?" I sighed inwardly. Evidently this group had not met many blind people before, and didn't understand my unusual actions. "Sorry, Pip, but I can't see anything." He gasped, and I felt a soft hand take mine. "You can't see anything? Oh no! You can't even see me or Merry?"  
  
Merry sat next to me, and passed me the strap of my bag. I unzipped it, and felt inside until I found a hairbrush. "No, although I wish I could. I have to draw pictures in my mind of you all, instead." "Can you read?" I grinned to myself as I imagined explaining Braille to these hobbits. Then I realized I had an example. I showed them a tag attached to my bag, which, to them read my name and address in writing; the other side looked like it was covered in lumps. To me, they said my name and county.  
  
"The little bumps are how I read. Where I come from, there are a group of people who care for people like me, and make these things so I can read them. "What does it say?" Merry sounded intrigued. I held it out with my free hand, and said, "Touch it. See? The letters are pushed up off the page...It says Mina Trelawney, which is my name, and then Berkshire, which is where I come from."  
  
I felt them tracing the dots, and understanding slowly. "So how do you know what people look like? Do they tell you?" I smiled again, these hobbits really were very curious. I began to brush my hair, trying to move the tangle I knew would be there.  
  
"Actually, I touch their faces, to feel how their face is shaped, then they tell me what colours they think they are. I had a friend that played a joke on me by telling me she was blue, but I didn't believe her!"  
  
Merry's voice was hesitant. "Do you want to see how our faces are shaped?" He was very serious, and I realized how trusting he was being. He knew that no body really knew who I was- for all they knew I could be a witch. I smiled gravely at him. "It would be an honor if you allow it, Merry."  
  
He lifted my hand, and placed it on his cheek. His skin was warm- he was blushing. I heard an exclamation, and a couple of hurried steps that slowed as they realized I was doing no harm. He had an oval shaped face, with a medium sized, roman-type nose.  
  
His eyes were big and round and he had long thin eyelashes. His hair was curly, and longish- probably hadn't been cut in a while- and of a fine texture, although there was plenty of it. His ears were larger than average and ever so slightly shell shaped. I smiled and moved both hands, which I had needed.  
  
"Thank you Merry, it took a lot of courage to let me see you." Pippin indignantly claimed it was his turn, and I found him much the same, but with smaller ears (although still large for a human) and shorter eyelashes, with a rounder nose. His hair was very messy, and as I let him go, I heard him pick up the brush I had put down.  
  
"Miss Mina? I have many sisters, and I know that they would hate not being able to brush their hair properly- may I do it? I'll be very gentle." I loved these hobbits already. They had known me for less that an hour and they wanted to help. If I could have cried properly, I would have, but all that happens when I do is that my eyes go red and sore and my nose runs, although my tear ducts are slowly healing.  
  
"Pippin, your sisters would be very proud of you if they could see you now, I am sure. I would very much appreciate that- I can do it myself, but I don't know if I miss bits."  
  
As Pip brushed my hair, the person who had hurried over and exclaimed revealed his identity by speaking to me. It was Boromir. "Good morning, Lady Mina. I have brought you breakfast- your hound captured an excellent boar, which is well cooked and easy to eat. Here."  
  
He came forward and guided my hands to the bowl, which was wooden and warmed by the food it held. I found I was hungry, and thanked him. "No need, Lady, we would be feasting less if your excellent animal had not been so adept at the hunt. Pippin, I suppose you have not told Lady Mina about the stream?" He sounded resigned. I imagined Pip had been sent to tell me, and that Boromir knew him too well. Pip admitted he had not.  
  
"Well, Lady, we thought if you wished to wash your face or anything, we could take you there- we would leave you, until you called, it is easily within calling distance, and Legolas would hear you from much further away."  
  
I decided to entirely trust them. "I would greatly appreciate that. Perhaps you could lead me? You did well last night." Pip finished brushing my hair with reluctance. Sorry to ruin the art he had made from my tangled mane, I pulled my hair into a bun and secured it, explaining that I didn't want to get it wet. Merry handed me my bag, and Boromir took my hands and lead me carefully to the small stream.  
  
Leaving me knelt upon the bank, he reminded me to call if I needed aid, and left. It was true; the stream was barely three metres from the campsite. I got out my travel-toothbrush, and began to scrub. A few moments later, I realized that nature was calling, and now was possibly the only convenient time there might be. When I was done, I washed and dried my face on a spare shirt (which I spread out to dry in the almost risen sun) and began to sing quietly.  
  
"Through the faintest filigree, Over the dim waters go, Little ships of Arcady, When the morning moon is low... I can hear the sailor's song, From the blue edge of the sea, Softly little ships fly along Through the misty filigree..."  
  
I changed my shirt (having two spares is underrated) and socks (sadly, only one spare pair, but I rinsed the others) and called softly towards the camp. "Could someone come and get me please?"  
  
I was hoping not to have to shout- I didn't want to make a spectacle of myself. Sure enough, the elf heard me, and I surprised him by asking 'Legolas?' before he had revealed himself. He dropped from the tree lightly, and asked me in that lovely voice how I had known it was him.  
  
"Well, you have this aura, erm, I think it's because you are an elf...Gandalf has it too, but I was sensing you above me, and as far as I know, Gandalf dislikes climbing trees..."  
  
His chuckle made my mouth dry up- it was very beautiful, clear as glass, and smooth as silk. He helped me gather my things, respectfully passing me a stray sock, and ever so carefully guided me back to camp. Someone had given Troy breakfast, and he smelt meaty, so I assumed it was part of his boar. He was pleased to see me, disliking being separated for too long, and I had told him to stay.  
  
Merry was there, with someone else I had not yet met. "Miss Mina, this is Sam- Samwise Gamgee, who is our companion. Sam, this is Miss Mina Trelawney." Sam's voice was more earthy than the other two hobbits I knew, and much more rough and ready. He was friendly, and Merry had clearly warned him I could not see and had no family, as he stated, "At your service, Miss Mina."  
  
His voice was respectful, and he clearly pitied me. "Thank you, Sam, I hope your grandfather is well?" The surprise in his voice made me want to giggle. "Er, yes, last I knew, he was, why- did you know him?" I shook my head. "No, but I know of him. Everyone called him the old Gaffer..." Sam seemed overjoyed.  
  
"Yes, old Grandpa Gaffer! My dad, he's called the gaffer now...That were more than fifty years ago! Scuse me asking, Lady, but how old are you?" It had dawned on him that I looked very young, but if what I had said was true, I would have to be...Old. "I am 198, Sam." Strider was suddenly near by- I could smell him, and sense that powerful aura he had. "You must be kin to the Dunédain."  
  
R&R please! Luv Es xx 


	3. Unusual Ancestry

Chapter Three- Unusual Ancestry  
  
I looked up at where I imagined Strider's face to be. "Yes- I am descended of the Dunedain, of Deucein and Deucefin, the elf- friends that wanted to explore all places. Deucefin was my grandfather."  
  
Strider's voice seemed breathless with disbelief. He sat beside me, and I heard him moving- a ring was pressed gently near to my hand. "Daughter of Deucefin, please tell me your father's name and of the significance of this ring for you..."  
  
I absently answered, trying to recall a man named Strider descended from the Dunedain, and building a picture of the ring in my mind. "My father is Deucemir, and my mother a distant descendant of..." It clicked. The ring showing two serpents, Strider's aura of power ever so slightly similar to Legolas and Gandalf's, although much diminished, and my mother's parentage.  
  
"The house of Kings. Of which, I believe you are also a descendant?" Aragorn gently took back his ring, and his voice was low. "Aye, we are kin, Mina. Never did I think descendants of your house would return to walk Middle Earth's calm shores. Much we have to speak of, and I offer you the ties of kinship that we have to be renewed- distant cousin. I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn and Gilraen." I smiled joyfully. Distant was perhaps an understatement, but cousin- true enough! I had a measure of security in my cousin, who would surely not forsake me. I had family, an honorable man of the line of Kings, who I could learn to trust. And to be King! Perhaps, in some small ways I could help- a King always has need of people to do things, and my blindness is not completely debilitating within a safe environment, such as a well-known house! I could at least be loyal and true. Most importantly, I could be and now had, a friend.  
  
"Should I call you still Strider, my lord? Or cousin, which I vastly prefer?" He reached out a friendly arm, patting my shoulder. "I have great need of a cousin, and will always have, and would be honoured if you would call me as you choose. I also like 'cousin'. Or 'friend' if you would prefer." Damn the man, he was almost mind reading! If I could have wept, I might have, but as it was I continued folding blankets with my heart light and my mind rejoicing.  
  
A few moments later, Gandalf called us together to speak of my future. We all sat, and Troy laid his head on my knee, watching suspiciously, aware something vital was happening.  
  
"Let me start by summing up our options.  
  
We can turn back, and take Mina to Rivendell, which would take roughly two weeks, perhaps three.  
  
We can continue, and leave Mina somewhere safe at the next suitable spot we pass, to be collected after the quest is completed.  
  
We can continue on our way, and have one or two members of the fellowship take Mina to the nearest safety, or we can keep Mina by us for the time being.  
  
I suggest either the second or third options. Mina, of course, may have a say in this, but Frodo's decision is crucial. Aragorn?"  
  
"Mina is my kin, and I vote that she stays with us at least until the next place of safety. Mina?" When in doubt, agree with Gandalf and Aragorn, the leaders of the pack. "I would like to stay with you until the next safe place at least- but only if that is ok with everyone. I am aware that I might be a burden at times, but I have skills that could be an asset to the fellowship." A voice I didn't know spoke up. "Arwenenamin Mina seems good and kind. I respect her wishes, and agree. She should come with us for the moment." Gandalf seemed to be smoking a pipe. "Quite right, Frodo my lad. Gimli?"  
  
Another voice, also deep and gravelly, but more rough and ready- Gandalf had eloquence and smoothness of speech not found among Dwarves- shifted and I could hear metal clinking. "Does Lady Mina realize the difficulties? The possible chance of death- it's a high risk, we take? And not the most dangerous..."  
  
There was a silence. I did not know what he spoke of, and for once I wished I could see the expressions on the males' faces so I could look for clues. What did they mean? Oh! The Ring that Frodo carried! How stupid of me to have forgotten. I felt with my 'sixth sense' and encountered a whisper of pleasure that fast turned into speech extending from Frodo. It recoiled briefly after touching me, in surprise I think, and before it could return, I withdrew, clamping down on that sense tightly- The Ring would tempt all, no exceptions, and its power, even in that small taste was immense. What a burden for such a good soul!  
  
"I trust in Aragorn, my kin. I trust in Boromir, who found me and led me to you. I trust in Legolas, who helped me, and I trust in Merry and Pippin for their bravery in allowing me to 'see' them. I trust in Gandalf, because he is known to me. I trust in Frodo, Sam and Gimli, because I trust in their companions. I will trust in your judgement- whatever this unknown peril- if you think I can try to face these dangers, I will do all that I can to prove your judgement correct, and if I fail or your trust in me is diminished, send me away."  
  
I have no idea where my sudden eloquence appeared from, but I spoke from the heart. There was a moment of quietness, before Legolas spoke fervently and softly. "That is all one may ask of another in tasks such as this. I thank you for your trust, and you have my faith."  
  
I smiled gratefully to my right, in the rough direction of his voice. "Thank you, Legolas." "I agree with Legolas!" That was Pippin, and as soon as the youngest Hobbit spoke, the others all chipped in, making me blush with their agreement that I should travel some way with them. All agreed, they told me their adventures so far, which I knew already, thanks to my English Lit professor who had insisted we read Tolkein- not that I hadn't enjoyed it, of course, but I wouldn't have picked 'The Lord of the Rings' off a shelf otherwise. I listened, and made noises of surprise etc when necessary, my mind full of the upcoming journey. It would be quite a trip.  
  
R&R! 


	4. Snowed Out

Chapter Four – Snowed Out- (Narrative style in parts)  
  
Did you know that when climbing a freezing mountain, you get very hot? It seems as if this in some way defies the rules of physics! We are all trying not to shed clothing, while boiling alive, which is why, I suppose, Mountain climbing is so dangerous- move clothing and get frostbite, don't move clothes get overheated and de-hydrated. There is hardly any time to stop and drink, and going to the toilet is completely out of the question!  
  
Legolas is walking in front, and Aragorn is with Frodo and Sam, Boromir with the other hobbits, and I left with Gandalf. The wizard is an excellent guide, seeming to anticipate any problems, but with the elfish blood in me, I can walk lighter on the snow than any but the elf. Aragorn's elfish blood obviously takes other forms. Troy is bounding along beside me, helping as much as he can, and leading me straight on.  
  
It's terrifying, the wind howling, imagining each step may take you over the edge and down, down to death. Merry, Pip and Boromir are falling behind, Pip asking something about Gondor, and Merry butting in. Frodo, Sam and Aragorn are right behind us, amusing myself and Gandalf slightly, as we wait for Sam to ask Frodo if he is alright- he does it every three minutes or so. It's sweet, and after feeling that terrible touch of evil, I cannot bring myself to do more than smile slightly, and listen out hard in case Frodo falters.  
  
The snow has stopped for the moment, and we are about to set foot on the actual mountain Caradhras. There is a terrible sense of tension building somewhere behind us- I don't remember what happens before the avalanche, and we aren't that advanced. I am focusing hard on Gandalf and Troy, and can feel Legolas approaching from before us- he is only a few metres away and quickly closing in. It's so damn cold!  
  
"Aaah!"  
  
Gandalf let me go and whirled around, Legolas froze after grabbing my arm. Frodo had fallen and rolled down the hill. "Frodo, are you alright?" I asked, wishing I could tell. Legolas was holding my arm tightly. "Yes- the Ring?!"  
  
We all gasped, and I heard footsteps. Then Boromir's voice, muttering under his breath- 'such a little thing'... I think we all felt the surge of power emanating from the evil object, and Aragorn snapped at him. 'Give the Ring to Frodo!'  
  
We all waited for a second, before I heard Frodo sigh in relief and Boromir's footsteps. Legolas seemed to realise how tightly he was holding my arm, and relaxed, apologising. Gandalf went to walk by Frodo, and Legolas guided me. As we neared the most perilous part of our journey, I thought I heard someone mutter something. "What did you say, Legolas?" "I said nothing, Mina. Why...?" I shushed him and said "listen." He was silent, and then I heard him tense. Troy cowered close to our legs. "You are right, Mina, I had thought it was just my imagination. Gandalf?" "There is a foul voice in the air!" Gandalf cried 'Saruman!"  
  
The wizard's voices duelled, rising and falling in a language that seemed to sound and command, majestic and terrible, deep inside our heads. The mountain itself trembled slightly, and snow began to fall harder and harder. There was a cave a way back, but we would not turn back yet. I pulled Legolas and Troy towards the cliff side, and nearer the hobbits and Aragorn. Frodo and Sam were shivering and I could hear their teeth chattering. Aragorn and Legolas spoke in elfish, and I had the feeling they were saying that the hobbits and I were not doing well. I was fine, apart from the cold, but the four hobbits were really suffering, unused to such bitter cold and thin air. Suddenly a tremble in the earth below us shook me, Troy and Legolas. He stood closer to me, pulling himself towards the rocky mountain face. He seemed so youthful, in his firm skin and light voice- lighter than those of the men, yet not boyish at all. The mountain shook again, and I stumbled. He caught me, and drew me into the circle of his arms. I, frightened, held on to him as if he were the only secure thing in my life at that moment. He placed a hand on Troy's harness.  
  
Then the avalanche hit us, burying us in above our heads with cold white powder. Legolas and I were crushed together, Troy at our feet. I buried my head in his shoulder, and he tucked his head into my neck for mutual refuge and reassurance. As soon as we had gotten over the shock, he whispered urgently into my right ear- "It's ok, don't panic. We have to make a hole under the snow so that we can move upwards and get out, lirimaer. Try and push the snow away from us, but remember which way is up- if we forget, we'll be in real trouble." I was really glad I wasn't in this alone. It wasn't any darker than usual to me, but I heard my elven friend getting used to the darkness- i.e. tripping over his small pack, standing on Troy, bumping into me... This might have been funny, had it not been so very grim. We pushed away at the snow for what seemed like an age, (Troy dug furiously beside us when he realised our intentions) but were in reality probably only a couple of minutes, until we had a hole about a metre and a bit wide, and tall enough for the elf to stand up in. Legolas called a halt. "Mina? Are you ok?" I had not realised how warm it was under the snow, in our small space, but now that I'd stopped, I felt warmer than I had in days. It was almost pleasant, to be warm again. "Yes, Legolas. Are you?" I felt him take my hand. "Yes, I am well. Now we must work on getting above the surface, and after that, finding the others. I think we will have to take turns at tunnelling sideways and up?"  
  
We did so, and after swapping three times, I was getting near to the surface in our tunnel of about two metres, when I heard a cry of surprise from Legolas, who was resting in the hole. I stopped and called down. "What is it, Legolas? Are you ok?" I almost fell out of the tunnel when Aragorn replied. "Yes- the hobbits and I heard you calling to each other and so we tunnelled sideways to join up with you. Sam and Frodo are excellent diggers!" I grinned to myself and called back. "I am sure they are the best diggers we have here at the moment! I think we're getting close- it seems to be getting lighter!" I was relieved by Aragorn a minute later, when my hands were little ice shovels, and my feet little frozen blocks, and I slid back into the hole and cuddles up to Troy before Aragorn slid (having to enlarge the tunnel at points, as he was the bulkiest among us five, and the tunnel was cramped even for Legolas and I) in, and pushed his way up. "Lady Mina, how are you?" Frodo was such a gentle-hobbit by manner, and so naturally concerned with the welfare of others, that I just wanted to embrace him for his sincerity. I didn't, of course, but I projected as much warmth as I could into my tone. "I am well, Frodo, and very glad to hear you, Sam and Aragorn again, I can tell you. I was quite worried about you all." "Do you think the others are alright?" Sam asked worriedly. "I don't think there is much in this world that can conquer a wizard for long, Sam, and can you really see our Gandalf being beaten by a lot of glorified water, eh?" I could feel the hobbits smile, even if no one could see it. Feeling cheerier myself, I shuffled next to Legolas (I could tell by the smell of sandalwood and light breathing) and Sam (I could hear Frodo opposite me) and with Troy on my feet, joined the others in waiting.  
  
Legolas was the first of our group to actually break the surface. He climbed out, and ordered Frodo, then Sam, then Troy, myself and Aragorn to climb out carefully. We did so gladly, and as I climbed into daylight, which even my poor eyes could feel slightly, Gandalf appeared and cried gladly a greeting, which we all returned joyfully. Boromir broke the surface a few minutes later, followed by Merry and Bill the pony, and Pip and Gimli. We all rejoiced in the Fellowship's safety, and Gandalf led us back to the cave we had passed earlier to decide what to do and rest for the night. There Aragorn and Gandalf uncorked skins of the cordial of Imladris- Miruvor, the life giver, health restorer, energy filling. We all drank a mouthful only, which filled much of our energy reserves and helped warm us, and ate the food Sam and Boromir gave us. I fancied, for a moment, that I could see a slight redness where the fire was, but it was only hope and imagination. I knew that, if I was lucky, I might regain some sight in a few years time, but without the healing eye bath I was supposed to be using each day, it seemed unlikely- a few years might be too optimistic. A decade, perhaps.  
  
"We will go through the mines of Moria." Frodo's fateful decision, one which would cause pain and eventual victory for the forces of good, was made. A terrible burden, to be allowed to take responsibility for, I felt protective of Frodo, and angry that Gandalf and Aragorn did not make it themselves. However, it was not my place to point it out, and my distant cousin and such a great wizard were surely wiser than I, so I respected their choice and kept quiet. We lay down to rest, the men having chosen guard duties, and Gandalf taking the first two hours. The fire burned and crackled, sending sparks into the earthen floor. Merry moaned in his sleep. Boromir sighed frequently. Pip and Sam snored slightly. Frodo slept silently, curled away from us all, towards a wall. I lay still, Troy warming my back, yet awake, between Aragorn and Gimli, the dwarf who drooled, and thought.  
  
It had all seemed so simple at the beginning. My father, Deucemir, commonly known in the first reality (known to me as Earth) as 'Darren' had sat me down at the age of twenty one and told me that from here on in, life was about to get complicated. I listened in disbelief and wonder as my slow development was explained- due to my partly elfish blood I looked only sixteen- and I was told that my mother and father were over eight hundred years old, and had lived for three hundred years in the lowest circle of the world, after being permitted by Manwe, Lord of the Valar, to cross the boundaries of reality and leave their birth reality. My father told me much about my ancestry, and gave me three books to read. 'The Lord of the Rings' collection, 'The Silmarillion' and 'The Appendices' all bound in green leather and decorated in gold. He told me the author, Tolkein, had been one of his closest mortal friends, and he had allowed this man to record the history of Middle Earth as told him by Deucemir and my mother, and publish it. I was to read it, carefully, and then ask questions.  
  
I had always been a fast reader. I read the books in order, Silmarillion last, and then went back to the beginning and started again. I found it difficult to believe at first, but I couldn't allow myself to think my parents were lying to me- they hated liars- and I knew they weren't mad. 'When you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth'- to quote Conan-Doyle. I accepted my heritage as possibly true, went back to my father, and asked my questions.  
  
My memories were interrupted by the changing of the watch, and I heard Gandalf sit in Legolas' place and put out his pipe in preparation for sleep, while the elf rose and stood by the mouth of the cave. Sighing slightly, I stretched and slowly fell asleep. 


	5. It's all Relative

_Sorry this has taken so long! Here's a whole load to keep going and apologize by. R&R, love you guys! Es xxxxxx_  
  
**Chapter Five: It's all relative**  
  
I awoke first next morning, apart from Boromir, who stood guard. The man was instantly recognizable to me now, as he wore a buckle or some trinket that rang slightly every time he breathed. I sat up and placed my blanket about Aragorn, who would never admit to being chilled. Troy raised a head and looked at me mournfully until I whispered for him to go sit by Aragorn.  
  
Boromir whispered to me "do you want me to help you to the fire?"

I whispered back "No- please help me to the cave mouth, I want some snow to drink."  
  
I heard him quietly approach, so I held out a hand in his rough direction. He gently took my hand, and took small steps, leading me around sleeping people and their packs. I felt us near the fire, and then pass it. We stepped outside, and I picked up some snow from the wall and nibbled at it once he let go.

"How long will it take to reach the mines?"

"Moria is but six days travel from here, Mina. Don't be afraid, we will look after you." I smiled.

"One of the few things I no longer fear is darkness, Boromir. In the mines I may be an asset to you, perhaps?"

"You are already helpful, lady, do not feel useless. You keep up morale, keep the hobbits occupied- Aragorn is cheered by your mere prescence. Do not feel useless. You are keeping me company even now, aren't you?" I smiled again.

"Yes- but it is not as much as I wish. Before I was blinded, I was a good archer, and I fought in the elfish custom, with long knives, and needed no man's help. Now I am dependant on others for everything. Certainly a good lesson, but also a cruel blow."

"You could fight?" Boromir asked curiously. "Yes, my father and mother taught me to defend myself. I have not tried since..."

I raised my arm to illustrate, and it twinged with pain. When had I hurt it? I couldn't remember. Boromir noticed my slight grimace, and asked what was wrong.

"My arm... I don't remember twisting it..."

Carefully, Boromir raised my long sleeves, and I heard a slight hiss as he breathed in sharply.

"You have a colourful bruise, Mina. I'm not surprised it stings. We'll get Aragorn to take a look at it when he wakes."

We planned to leave a couple of hours after dawn, and make it to the bottom of the first mountain if we could. Gandalf had asked to be woken after first light, so after shaking the wizard awake, Boromir and I began to make some hot food. As the smell of warming stew began to fill the cave, Aragorn woke. We heard him pet my dog, and fold up the rugs that covered him, and then Boromir saw and I heard him approach the fire.

"That smells good, what is it?" Aragorn asked curiously, sounding dangerously awake for so early in the morning. "Stew- the remainder of the dried meat, the carrots, an onion and some peas." I replied. Aragorn grunted- in a pleased sort of manner- and went to feed Bill. Boromir added some salt upon my suggestion, and it simmered away happily while the rest of the Fellowship slowly stirred.  
  
That day we did even better than expected, pushing ourselves hard until we were only a day from the sunshine. Legolas seemed happy to be returning to warm lands and scouted ahead, running nimbly on the fresh snow. Frodo and Sam guided me, while Aragorn and Gandalf discussed the paths ahead and Boromir, Merry and Pippin messed around, throwing snowballs. After being pelted for some time, I decided that four snowballs were four too many, and asked Frodo to make me a snowball discreetly.

"I'll get Boromir on the chest..." I wasn't even sure if this would work. Next time I got a fix on where Boromir was (creeping up on Gimli) I whirled and threw the snowball with my good arm, aiming for his chest. I heard a muffled shout, and Frodo and Sam burst into laughter.

" Good Shot! You got his head!" Shouted Frodo merrily, and I think it lightened all of our hearts to hear the burdened little hobbits brassy tones ring about the mountainside. Troy galumphed about, and panted loudly, in happiness. Soon we were all laughing, as Boromir pretended to mutter dire threats to me. I was amazed I had hit my target at all- perhaps I could learn to throw knives effectively? I made a mental note to ask someone to teach me if we ever had time, and trudged on, hanging onto Sam's hand and listening to the company around me.  
  
That night we all sat around the fire and talked, about the next morning mostly. We were running low on supplies, and the suggestion was that we would all forage as best we could tomorrow, as there was a good time before we should enter the mines and be fed by Gimli's friends and relatives. I didn't know what to do- should I casually suggest that we took more food on board than enough to get us there? We would need much more, but how to suggest it without offending Gimli and rousing questions about my foreknowledge. I wasn't about to reveal to anyone- Gandalf included- that I knew too much until all of this was very over. I had an idea, and when Sam got up, I shuffled closer to Pip.

"Hey Pip..."

"Hello Mina, how are you?"

"I am well- you look hungry though. Wouldn't it be terrible if we ran out of food? I'm going to gather extra tomorrow, just in case."

Pip gawped in horror.

That would be awful! But it's ok, no one will let us starve. I'll get more too- good idea."

suppressed a smile and wiggled back over to my blankets. I heard Boromir walk over. "Mina, shall I ask Aragorn to look at your arm?" I had been trying to forget about the pain all day, but didn't want to make a fuss.

"Yes, please, but do it quietly? I don't want everyone to know."

All of a sudden, I realised where I had got the bruise from, and had to think up something to tell Aragorn when he asked- the truth was, it had to have been Legolas's 'firm grip' upon my arm just before and during the avalanche. I didn't want anyone to accuse him of hurting me, or for him to feel guilty... So I was going to have to prevaricate. Pretend I had no idea, and hope nobody worked it out. I was having to be unusually devious lately, and I didn't like it. My very nature called for a full confession, secrets, I knew, only cause trouble. Oh well- it was a white lie.  
  
"Mina; Boromir said you have bruised your arm?" Aragorn was sounding all anxious, and holding a something leather that I figured was his medicine bag- I could hear the material. "Well, I'm ok, it's just a small thing, but yes. I can't even remember when I got it." I tried to stay cool. Aragorn sat by me, and I rolled up my loose sleeve, shivering in the cool air on one side, warmed on the other by the fire. Aragorn looked at me sharply, but said nothing. It must have been worse than Boromir made it out to be.  
  
"I'm going to smooth some of this paste I'm making on to it. I'll leave you the rest- put some more on before you sleep, and when you rise. It should be gone soon; it's healing fast. Are you sure you don't recall when it happened?" Aragorn sounded faintly suspicious. I claimed ignorance. He bid me rest well, and laid a hand on my shoulder before leaving. Troy snuffled over and sighed loudly. I grinned myself, and ascertained who was on watch before falling into a dreamless sleep.  
  
The next day I walked especially close to Gandalf, who seemed saddened and weary. Troy walked at out heels, whining, as he knew something was wrong. I kept quiet at first, allowing him to remain in his own thoughts, and then began to try and draw him into conversation.  
  
"Gandalf, what is Moria like?"

I could have sworn that I felt him look at me, but his voice sounded normal as he replied- "It is a series of enormous caverns, long the home of the dwarves of old. Magnificent ceilings that disappear from sight, narrow passages, walls that have been mined thoroughly still glimmer with the memory of long forgotten jewels, and great abysses and bridges for us to be wary of. You, most of all but Gimli and I, shall have advantage there, for the dark is so deep that even my staff will only produce enough light to show us the walls a foot from us. The long, deep dark of Moria. I shall rely on you to use your skills to our advantage- water, enemies, false steps- you will recognise their sounds long before most of us."

I felt important, being trusted with such a task, and thanked Gandalf for his confidence. Suddenly the sound of –yet another- dwarf/elf argument began behind us.  
  
"Nay, elf, you are wrong! Moria is nothing like an overgrown cave! Have you even seen it? No. Then how would you know?"

"Gimli, all dwarven cities are large caves. It is fact! I may not have seen it myself, but I have read trusted accounts, and listened to Aragorn's journey through Moria, and the conclusion is..."

"Elves! Do not speak of what you do not know! It is a famous proverb amongst my people- have you never heard of it?"

"Yes, but the elves believe that it is better to speak of what you can trust to, rather than live in denial!"  
  
Oh dear, I thought to myself. Gandalf however, seemed more than un-amused.

"Will you two please stop arguing? I can hardly hear Mina over the pair of you!"

A sheepish silence followed. I could hear Merry and Pip giggling that the older pair had been told off. The silence was so sheepish that I was tempted to giggle myself! We walked for a while, Frodo joining us, over hilly (well, very uneven) land, until we came to a stream.

"We should refill our canteens, and rest. Mina, will you help Sam with some food? Merry, Pip, Boromir, Gimli and Legolas, will you forage please. Gandalf, Frodo and I will fill the skins." Aragorn spoke authoritatively, and we all obeyed. While the others were foraging, Troy bounding off to hunt, and Sam and I companionably unpacked cold meats and carrots, with a little cheese and bread.  
  
"Miss Mina..." Something was clearly troubling Sam. It was in his hesitant voice.

"Yes Sam?"

"Your arm..."

"Yes?"

"Well, I happened to see the bruise when you rubbed ointment on it this morning...It looks, well, hand-shaped..."

I tried my best for the innocent face.

"Does it, Sam?"

"Yes it does, and I just wanted to let you know that if someone's hurt you, they shouldn't have, and if anyone's mistreatin' you, Miss Mina, you just tell me- I won't stand for it, all right? People should be protectin' and helpin' you - no offence mean't, Miss Mina- not hurtin'!"  
  
He had said this in a fierce whisper, and his loyalty, friendship and honesty touched my heart.  
  
"Oh, Sam, you are a dear. I'll tell you the truth- it was an accident, that's why I lied; in the avalanche, Legolas grabbed my arm to protect me, and must have misjudged his own strength. You see?"  
  
He sounded so relieved when he sighed. "Ah, right, I see. Well, thank you for telling me. And for trying not to hurt Legolas- he'd be ashamed if he thought he'd hurt you. You're a good friend, Miss Mina, and no mistake. I'll keep it quiet, then."

"Thank you Sam. It's good to know I have a friend like you."

I swear that you can hear that Hobbit blush.

R&R! Love Es xx


	6. Not Feeling the Cold

_Hopefully, this chapter will be well recieved- it's my favourite! R&R! E xx_

****

**Chapter Six: Not Feeling the Cold.**  
  
"Carrot, Merry?"

"Thanks, Pip. Apple?"

"No thanks, Merry. Carrot, Mina?"

I accepted, and Pippin gently guided my hand to the carrot, which, thoughtful hobbit that he was, he had scraped clean for me. I nibbled the sweet and juicy carrot, and listened to Boromir talking to Gimli about weapons for a while. I realised that I really did want to learn to fight again. I'd have to practice at some point.  
  
"Mina, would you like some water?"

Legolas was sitting to my left, and he placed my hands on the skin so that I could drink. The stream water was boiled- Aragorn and Gandalf insisted we drink nothing else near Moria.  
  
"Thank you. Legolas..." My voice trailed off as I wanted to ask him a favour.

"Yes, Mina?"

Would you teach me to throw knives?"  
  
I felt him hesitate before replying.

"We have no throwing knives here, Mina. Mine are too heavy to throw, especially for learning. I promise, that should we come across some suitable knives, I will teach you."

My downcast expression was obviously too clear, as he eagerly promised me.

"Do not fear, Mina. We will protect you until you learn."  
  
Aragorn cut in. "Speaking of letting us protect you, cousin, there is a stream to cross. It will be far too difficult for the hobbits to cross, so they will ride Bill. May one of us assist you?"  
  
Did I have a choice? By assist, I presumed he meant take my arms. So it was with great surprise that I found myself in Legolas' arms as we crossed the stream. It was fast running, although not deep, and I was told we'd be across in five minutes. I felt Legolas shiver, and put my arms around his neck to help steady and warm him as we crossed.  
  
"I thought elves did not feel the cold?" I asked curiously.

"We don't." He replied staunchly, and I giggled.

"I know you're shivering. I can hear your teeth chattering." I whispered conspiratorially, so that Gimli didn't overhear- the last thing I wanted to do was to start an elf/dwarf word battle.  
  
"Well, is there a saying that elves don't get wet?" He answered, whispering back to me.

"No..."

"Then there you are!" He laughed, clear and joyfully, a pleasant sound. I joined in, as I heard the others asking what we were laughing about.  
  
"What kind of an answer is that, Legolas Greenleaf?" I scolded playfully as we reached the other bank.  
  
"The only one I have, I am afraid. I do not feel the cold, but when I am as..."

"Soaking?" I supplied helpfully, as he set me down with a grunt.

"Yes, then I shiver. Is that a good enough answer?"

"It'll do. Thank you, Legolas. You may carry me whenever you wish." I joked, and he said ruefully, "Not over another stream, I think- my arms are fairly broken!" I pretended to gasp in horror, and be affronted.  
  
"Legolas!" I teased, "and here I was, thinking elves were brought up to be polite!"  
  
"Nay!" Aragorn joined in. "They are brought up to be terribly teasing!"  
  
"Aragorn! You wrong us, I am sure! Have I ever teased you?"  
  
"Nay...Only a few hundred times!"  
  
"When?"  
  
"Well...The time when you told me Arwen wanted me to pick her some Slanthwin flowers, and I did and she was allergic to them and came out in that rash! She would not speak to me for days. Do you not remember, my friend?"  
  
"It occurs to me," I put in, "that elves have a convenient 'forgetting' problem..."  
  
Legolas laughed, and called "I surrender, I surrender" and placed a hand on my shoulder to guide me to the others. Troy had swum the stream without a problem, and shook himself all over the elf, causing laughter, as Aragorn claimed Troy was paying Legolas back for the Slanthwin incident.

All the members of the fellowship were becoming excellent guides, but Legolas, and Pippin seemed to have the knack. Boromir and Aragorn were a little too careful- we moved along at a snail-pace, but with Pip or Legolas we moved at the normal pace, with them ready to catch me should I trip or stumble.

I walked between Legolas and Aragorn until gradually I began to notice a change in the atmosphere. It was growing darker (we had eaten a late lunch) and the company seemed less inclined to laugh or joke, more to listen to Gimli's morbid tales of long ago.  
  
"...and he was lost in the deep dark of Moria. They say that even now he wanders the labyrinth of the earth, meeting foe after foe, and slaying every one. They say that one dark day, he shall meet an enemy even he cannot defeat, and be slain. That foe will rule the deep dark of Moria, until one comes who is more powerful than he, and then shall the foe of all foe's be destroyed, and Moria be no longer a place of such great evil."  
  
I noted Gandalf was silent, and I could not hear him. "Cousin, where is Gandalf?" I asked Aragorn.  
  
"He walks with Frodo at the front. He seems...sad." "Nay, mellon, he** is** sad." Legolas spoke quietly. We all thought we knew why. Poor Frodo; such a heavy burden to bear. Gandalf felt so guilty for allowing him to take it, although he knew it was the right choice.  
  
"I vote we all take a turn to talk to Gandalf and cheer him up. What do you think?" I appealed to the man and elf on either side of me.  
  
"I will go first, as soon as he and Frodo are finished." Legolas volunteered. I smiled at him, pleased.  
  
When Legolas was speaking to Gandalf, Aragorn began a new line of conversation, throwing a stick for Troy as he talked.  
  
"Mina, are you sure you remember little about how you came to be here? What I mean, is, have you remembered more? Can you tell me more?"  
  
I sighed. I did remember. _How could I forget?  
_  
"Yes, Aragorn. My memory was confused at first, but now... My parents had told me about my true heritage but a few decades before. I had been excited, and asked them about how we had come to live...where we lived...and they had told me their story.

To make it short (as I must, otherwise it would take days to tell), they travelled the entire length and breadth of Middle Earth; the first ever to do so. Then they settled in the city of Elu Thingol before the destruction of the first and best city of men. When they tired of life so dull, they called upon mighty Manwe, and confessed to him that they had seen all they wanted of Middle Earth for a time, and that they wished, if possible, for somewhere new to explore and map, as there was nowhere unmapped left, so they could continue to use the talent given to them by Eru. Eru granted their wish through Manwe, with two conditions- one, that they must return home once they had mapped all of the 'lower' Earth he would send them, and two, that they should speak to a man named Tolkein, who would have certain 'visions' and help him write them down.  
  
They lived on 'lower' earth for many years, and did as mighty Eru had asked. Some decades later, my parents completed their task. Satisfied with life, content to live among the Valar once more, they wished to return home. Eru agreed, with one exception; that I should experience life, and make some real friends before we lived in safety. So we would journey from the Grey Havens to Lothlorien, our new home. But alas, on our journey..."  
  
My voice faltered, and Aragorn placed a cousinly hand on my shoulders.  
  
"...while we travelled, my parents aided me (blind before then), but one morning, Father...He said that he should not move that day; he was too tired. So we rested. He died that evening- at the age of 1579 years old. My mother continued our journey, weeping constantly, afraid that she too would die and leave me alone, blind, in a world I did not know, alone and unsafe, yet wanting to be with Father, wherever mortal souls go to after death. She died a month later. I wandered alone, until, one day I...I think I fell...I may have tripped...I can't remember properly. But I was found by Boromir, and well, my mother's fears did not come true."  
  
Aragorn's voice was hoarse; I think he was grieved at the manner of my parent's death: I couldn't blame him. We had been so close...

"You have me now, cousin, and I shall never forsake you. I swear it. I know also, that the rest of the Fellowship would assist you if I died. You are not alone in this world. I... I know what you have suffered, though not the depths- my parents died when I was very young. We shall stay together."  
  
How did these people all seem to have the capacity to touch my soul with their friendship? They cared so deeply- well, it made me want to cry each time. How could he have sensed my inner fear? I reached over to Aragorn, and hugged him.  
  
"Thank you." He seemed shocked at first, then, tentatively, he hugged me back.

We reached the walls of Moria in the early evening, just as the light was beginning to fail. There was a pool, near to the cave wall, and a tree by the pool. We all sat down as Gandalf and Gimli tried to figure out the password. Pip and Merry were finishing off a game similar to 'I spy' and Sam and I tended to Bill, with Aragorn's help. Troy lay at Frodo's feet, and enjoyed being patted and fussed while the hobbit thought, presumably about the future. I was tempted to go and talk to him- Gimli's morbid stories had affected him more than the others- and cheer him, I didn't have the chance- he breathed harshly, and spoke to Gandalf."Mellon."  
  
The doors opened. Bill was released, we put on our cloaks (I was glad of mine; it was not warm within the caves) and Boromir led me carefully into the cave, Troy at my heels. The floor was uneven. As soon as I mentioned this, Gandalf's staff brightened, and I heard collective gasps, which echoed off the cave walls, filling the air with sibilant 'sss' sounds, which made us all a little nervous. Then I heard a snap, and Legolas exclaim 'Goblins!'  
  
I strained each ear, but could hear no goblins. What did he mean? I didn't have time to find out- Boromir almost dragged me away, and Troy barked, but we had only gone two steps when I heard a tiny splash, and had time to say 'Mind ou...' before I heard a huge splash, and I was shoved behind Gandalf. I heard Frodo calling out, and the men calling to each other, and a terrible screech from whatever (I shuddered) had come from the pool, and the harsh sounds of swords and arrows, along with grunts and shouts that meant fighting. Suddenly Merry and Pippin were thrust next to me by –I think it was Gimli- and we were hustled back into the cave again. I felt two small hands in mine, and someone handed me Troy's collar, and I smiled- Troy, Merry and Pippin were as scared as I was. I began to whisper _'is everyone alright'_ but Pip was giving me a running commentary before I had finished asking.  
  
"Frodo's in the air, being waved around, but Boromir and Aragorn are going to save him...Legolas is aiming an arrow at it's eye...Gimli's chopping off tentacles...Sam is too...Hurrah! Frodo's safe! Good shot! Legolas got it in the eye, you know...They're running in here... Oh no! It's coming after us!"  
  
The rest of Pip's commentary was drowned out in the thunder of falling rocks. I cried out, and there was silence.  
  
"Pippin? Is everyone alright?"

A throat was cleared- not Pippins; deeper.

"Yes, I think so. But someone is sitting on me."

Gandalf's staff flared, and Merry and Pippin began to snort with laughter.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"They're all in a heap! Aragorn is lying on Legolas and Gimli, and Boromir, Frodo, Sam and Gandalf are all muddled up on top of them! Hee hee! They all look so puzzled!"

I grinned as Gandalf snarled a reproof at Merry, and began to giggle. Troy licked my arm and whined. I giggled more- Troy's tongue was tickly.

"Mina! Are you laughing at us?" It was Legolas, teasing again.

"No..."  
  
"I think you are! Tut Tut. Can you get off me, Estel?"

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"No..."  
  
Trying to ignore the macabre surroundings, the group sorted themselves out, Troy bounding around like a mad dog, and Legolas came over to help me. Surprisingly, when we began to walk, it was he that stumbled most often. I think the caves threw his senses slightly. We stumbled on, nevertheless, following Gandalf and Gimli, Boromir and Aragorn with a pair of hobbits each, walking into the depths of the earth, where danger lurked.


	7. The Long, Deep Dark of Moria

_Just a shortie here to keep y'all going..._

**Chapter Seven: The long, deep dark of Moria.**

Well, this had been described accurately- it was both long and deep and very, very dark. It seemed like time was crawling past us, as if we were lost, alone in a different world. I put Troy on his leash, and kept him to heel most of the time, afraid he would fall into an abyss or something. It was scary, but most unnerved was Pippin. Jumpy, easily shocked, twitchy and paranoid, he seemed terrified of every shadow- and there were many. Legolas was putting on a good show of being absolutely **f.i.n.e**: (**F**reaked out, **I**nsecure, **N**eurotic and **E**motional), which was fooling nobody except the hobbits, while holding on to me reasonably firmly- not that he was scared, you understand, but he was 'afraid of losing me' (I think it's a macho warrior thing).  
  
I, on the other hand, was still in the 'revelations' stage. Call me dumb, but I had just worked out what was going to happen next. Of course, in a distant kind of way, I had worked it all out, mainly after the council of 'shall Mina go with us?' and my meeting with the Ring of Power, but it had only really just dawned on me that these were Tolkeins' visions and I was in them. I was living them as they happened- what Tolkein would have given to have known that his friend's daughter was with the men, elf, dwarf, wizard and hobbits he had dreamed about.  
  
And I knew how it should turn out. I also knew how each and every one of them would suffer. I also had an inkling of Eru's greater purpose...Well, what I figured was his greater purpose. I had now got the opportunity to lessen suffering. Eru had helped the Fellowship through letting me know the future (indirectly, so he wasn't messing up any laws or anything) so I could assist. It would be far too difficult for me to change stuff, and the idea of changing everything was terrifying (in case I changed the 'happy' ending) so I would have to...sort of...manipulate situations...

For example- Gandalf had to 'die' now, yes, but I could give him a hint that it was all with greater purpose (he already knew, being an Istari, that he would die here) and maybe that would give him courage for the trials ahead of him. Messing with Frodo was going to be very challenging- if I could have changed anything it would have been his wound at Weathertop...Or I could think about getting Boromir to talk about Faramir more, so Frodo would be able to understand him better. In any case, I knew part of my mission, and should put it into play straight away.  
  
"I think we should pause here, the rock ahead is unstable..." Gandalf spoke quietly.  
  
"Do you want me and Gimli to test it out?" I offered.  
  
The dwarf and I had a good team going about rock testing: Legolas and I listened intently while Gimli tested a way across, a rope around his waist attached to Legolas and I, then Legolas would follow, Boromir helping me steady the rope. After that, Boromir and Legolas would steady the taut rope between them, while we crossed carefully. Then Boromir would come last, tying the rope about him and Troy, while Aragorn, Legolas and I were ready to take the strain should they fall. It was a good system, which had helped us work as a team, trust and rely on each other a lot.

Once, Gimli's weight had proved too much for the weakened rock, and Legolas and I had hauled him up- I felt a glow of satisfaction in being part of the team, and Gimli had been a lot more cordial to Legolas since then.  
  
"Not this time. There is a ladder on the wall here- it leads to a ledge about ten foot up. I think that is the path we must take. Legolas, would you test it?"  
  
The elf being the lightest and most flexible in the group, was often asked to test ladders; he would stomp on each rung to make sure it would hold everyone.  
  
"Of course. Mina, have you the rope?" I helped tie it about his waist, trying to concentrate on making the knots good and tight. I felt his eyes on me, and the fellowship was strangely quiet as I finished and stood back a little.  
  
"All done. Goodluck."  
  
He pressed my hand for a moment then I felt his aura moving away from me, and I heard him begin to climb. Boromir grabbed an end of the rope to take the strain, and he held while I payed out enough for Legolas to keep moving up the ladder.  
  
I had heard about eight stomps, when a splintering of wood and a large grunt made me jump.  
  
"Are you ok?" I called, before anyone had a chance to speak. Legolas' soft voice called back, reassuring but strained, "Yes, but the eighth rung is completely gone, and there isn't much to hang onto after the fifth..."  
  
He continued climbing, until a call alerted us- he had reached the top. Aragorn tied Gimli to the rope, and Gimli began climbing. It was a long and tedious process, and finally, Boromir was climbing up, and Gandalf, Troy and I were left alone at the bottom of the ladder.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked softly, "no man is a fortress, you know..." Gandalf sighed, and spoke softly back.  
  
"That is wise, Mina, but I am no man, as you well know. I know you are aware of the possibilities in Moria, and what I say to you is this:

_Keep_ the Fellowship in good health. _Watch_ Boromir, the Ring has chosen him as the weakest of us, and is exerting his spirit to do evil strongly, insidiously- he knows not that he cannot help the evil impulses he feels towards Frodo. _Help_ your cousin all you can; he may face a mightier task than ever he has taken on before, and will need you. _Care_ for Frodo- his task is more terrible than Aragorn's even, and he has less experience. _Encourage_ the friendship between Gimli and Legolas- it will be the start of something greater, should it flourish. _Befriend_ Merry and Pippin, they are awaiting mentors, and this, for them, will be an experience that will force them to grow- if they survive it. And lastly, Sam. I sense Sam has hidden depths. Even when I caught him 'dropping eaves' I knew his purpose was inextricably linked with Frodo's- even if I know not exactly how. _Teach_ Sam, useful things, such as he might need on a journey alone."  
  
I listened seriously to him, awed and honoured by his dignity, nobility and trust in me. When he finished, there was silence for a moment, and I whispered,  
  
"it shall be done."  
  
Then Aragorn called out, and the rope came tumbling down to me.  
  
"Mina- take care also, my dear, of yourself. You can do nothing for others if you do not firstly look after yourself."  
  
Gandalf spoke so quietly, almost musingly, so sadly, that it brought tears to my eyes. He had accepted his future suffering. I nodded gruffly, and began to climb.  
  
Once I arrived at the top, I ran over his instructions. _Keep, watch, help, care, Encourage, Befriend, Teach._ I could do those things. Just call me **'Mom'.**


	8. My duty begins

_R&R please- I seriously need the support!_

**Chapter Eight- My duty begins.**  
  
I heard the Fellowship disintegrate before my ears, after escaping from Moria's second Gate. Never have I sensed such misery, never have my hopes been so low.

Legolas had clung to me in the escape, practically carrying me in our hurry to keep up with the others. I had clung to Troy's leash like a lifeline, terrified of him falling like Gandalf. The hobbits ran in silence, stunned. The others just ran- I heard laboured breathing, nothing else. When I felt fresh air on my face, I could have died with relief and at the same time, utter sadness. I knew that, even now, Gandalf was fighting for his life.  
  
We took a brief pause, Legolas, also stunned, let me go and Troy guided me to a rock to sit down, where I heard Merry and Pip burst into quiet tears. Gimli was desperately trying to conceal a few sniffs. Aragorn seemed desolate- waves of disbelief and denial conflicted in him. Legolas did not seem to understand; he was confused at the groups pain- when an elf dies, his friends are sad, but they know they will meet him again in the halls of Mandos. I could not hear Frodo or Sam.  
  
My duty had truly begun- I must repair them, and then keep the Fellowship strong. I whispered to Troy to take me over to Aragorn.  
  
"Cousin, we must move on."  
  
I whispered. He desperately needed human contact, a hug, anything, but if I did, he'd break down. He needed to be a leader more- we could not afford him to be anything less than twice as strong as usual. He nodded, and took a deep breath.  
  
"Legolas- get them up."  
  
Boromir was angry, the ring pounded through him and I could feel it in the back of my head, whispering... Gandalf's presence had restrained it's influence. Without him, the journey would be thrice as hard.  
  
"Boromir...will you guide me? I need your help. Troy needs to run about."  
  
I redirected his attention, and his voice softened. So often men's anger can be assuaged by a simple plea for help. It makes them feel needed, useful, strong, good. It was exactly what Boromir seemed to need at that moment, as he hurried over to me, and guided me over to Merry and Pippin, who we helped up. Pip held my hand tightly, and tried to be brave, brushing away the tears that stopped him from seeing roots that might trip me. Aragorn walked with Frodo and Sam at the front, Gimli and Legolas walking behind them.

We walked as quickly as we could, away from Gandalf, and as much as I tried to convince myself that we weren't, I felt that we were abandoning him to his fight. Mainly that I was abandoning him- the others, through me, should never know that I had known, if all went well.  
  
We walked, and we walked, and we walked- never had a day of our journey seemed so long. Even Troy lacked the energy to hunt or play. We camped that night, in virtual silence, and eventually, our grief and fatigue sent all but my cousin and I to sleep.  
  
Sat around the camp fire, Aragorn and I were companionably quiet, Troy asleep on my bedding.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
I winced as I realised I had echoed the words I had spoken to Gandalf in Moria.  
  
"I will be fine. He was my oldest friend, you know."  
  
I smiled a little, sadly.  
  
"Yes- I know. Sit by me?"  
  
I heard the smile in his voice- often, in Moria, I would ask him to sit by me when he was on watch, and I would keep him company.  
  
"Gladly, Mina. Are you well?"  
  
I nodded. "Yes, I'm okay. Its sad- he was so close, and then he fell..."  
  
I remembered the leap of exaltation in my heart as I thought, for a split second, he had won. Aragorn obviously remembered it too.  
  
"Aye."  
  
I hugged him roughly. "Now, cousin, you are our leader, and as cousin of the leader, I order you to look after yourself a bit, ok?"  
  
He held me closely for a moment, then let me go.  
  
"Ok."  
  
That's my cousin- a man of few words. But actions speak louder than words, and by pressing my hand gently, I can see he understands what I'm really trying to say.  
  
"As leader, I tell you to rest now. We'll have an interesting journey tomorrow, into the woods of Lothlorien."  
  
I felt a flare of excitement, but was too tired to ask questions. Instead I let him lead me to my bedding, and made him promise to switch with Legolas in an hour or so. Troy curled up at my side, I slept deeply, while a flicker at the back of my mind that was my concern for Gandalf keeping me turning often in my sleep.  
  
The next morning, Legolas woke me to help him and Sam with the morning meal. We ate cold food, mainly sausage, cheese and bread, as a group, then everybody helped clear and pack, and we were underway in half an hour. Even Legolas seemed tired, and I longed for a chance to care for them all properly. I'm frustrated at my blindness, for I can't see what exactly is wrong, and I must use all my skills to find out how to help my friends.  
  
"Legolas, what is it like, where we are now?" The Fellowship is strangely silent as we walk. The sound of Troy panting is the loudest sound. A sense of sacredness seems to grow as we near the elven sanctuary of Lorien. Legolas, with his customary hand on my shoulder, whispers as he talks.  
  
"Beauty surrounds us, Mina. Golden Mellyrn trees push gracefully from the earth like swimmers from water, and stretch into the air, each delicate golden leaf breathing in deeply with relief. The ground beneath us is grassy and smooth; hardly a rock or stick to trip you. The trees are neither close nor enclosing, they let light through, and it, filtering through their golden leaves, becomes warm and yellow. A place of peace, indeed, Mina."  
  
The reverence in his voice makes me long to see the Golden Wood, but I sigh mentally in resignation, and content myself with my friends poetic description.  
  
"The dwarf breathes so loudly, we could have shot him in the dark."  
  
I hear bowstrings all around us, humming tautly, and lean in to Legolas in fright. Troy growls. The elf puts an arm about me protectively. I can hear Aragorn murmuring in elven, and Legolas speaks quietly too. I hear minute footfalls moving away a little.  
  
"What is it?" Legolas presses my hand.

"It is well, Mina, they are guards from Lothlorien. Haldir, their leader is talking with Aragorn. They won't fire unless we move aggressively towards them. Tell Troy to stop growling please."

"What did you say to them?" He shuffles slightly. "I asked them to move away a little as they were distressing you and not to worry about the dog."  
  
Oh. Never mind, I had been afraid, and even if I hadn't exactly wanted everyone to know, it didn't matter. I bent slowly, and soothed Troy. My eyelids seemed suffused with brightness, and I could, now that fear had worn off, sense elvish auras easily, such as I had sensed Legolas' by the stream, in what seemed like an age before. Movement to our left distracted me from working out where exactly each elf was, and how many there were.  
  
"Legolas, you and Haldir have met before?" Asked Aragorn, who had approached.  
  
"Yes. Greetings Haldir o Lorien."

"Greetings, son of Thranduil. Welcome to the Golden Wood."  
  
Aragorn introduced me. "Mina, this is Haldir, March warden of Lothlorien. Haldir, Mina, my cousin."  
  
A smooth voice, deeper slightly than Legolas' even tone, greeted me. "Greetings, Mina Lirimaer, cousin of Estel."  
  
I smiled uncertainly.  
  
"Greetings, Marchwarden Haldir."  
  
Aragorn interrupted before Haldir could speak. "Mina, Haldir would like for you to walk at the front with us. Is that alright?"  
  
Reluctant to leave Legolas, who was now becoming the best guide in the Fellowship (Pippin became distracted and dreamy, and forgot to watch out for roots etc), I turned my head towards him.

"Is that ok with you?"

"Of course, Mina. Here's Aragorn's hand..."

I sensed he was pleased I had asked him. He placed my left hand in my cousins. I was nervous, sure about what would follow.

"Here is Haldir's hand. I will be nearby."  
  
Haldir's hand was smooth but for calluses on his fingertips, which were so similar to Legolas' that I knew they had to be from bowstrings.  
  
Haldir seemed to treat me as if I was a cobweb, guiding me with exquisite care, as Aragorn watched for obstacles and held my other hand. Troy was very unsure about him, and trotted so close to our heels we tripped over him. The elf didn't know what to make of my blindness, or me- I could understand: what kind of 'save the world' Fellowship takes a blind girl with them?  
  
"When we enter the city, Lady Galadriel would like to see you, Minarwen."  
  
Haldir had elongated my name; I remembered the first time he had done so and asked about it.  
  
"That would be an honour. What does Lirimaer mean? And why Minarwen?" I could speak one elven dialect, which I had learnt with my parents, but not that which they spoke here. Aragorn answered me.  
  
"Lirimaer is a compliment, Mina. Elves are fond of putting a describing word after a name; such as Aragorn Estel, or Legolas Greenleaf, which you know, and calling that person just by the descriptive if they are the only one with that description around, as I am called 'Estel' by Legolas. Lirimaer means 'lovely one'. Minarwen is a shortening of Arwen Mina, or Mina Arwen, which would mean Lady Mina. It's a sort of...polite way of being less formal."  
  
"Thank you, Haldir!" I was blushing- to have a describing name of 'lovely' was a nice compliment, and I didn't mind Minarwen at all, even if it was strange to answer to it. "Please, don't feel you have to be too polite though."  
  
"Very well, Lirimaer. May I ask then how you came to be travelling with this group?"  
  
For a first question, he sure had picked a difficult one, but I wasn't concerned about telling him most of it. "I was travelling with my parents, who...died... along the way. Boromir found me travelling alone, the Fellowship adopted me, and Aragorn and I realised our connection soon after. I've made the best friends I'll ever have on this trip."  
  
I stumbled a little, when the sorrow of my parent's death hit me, but I was passing on from grief, sure Eru was caring for them, and carried on. Aragorn's grip on my hand tightened as he steadied me, and I realised that I was lucky enough to have begun to have another family- admittedly, so far all male (a few sisters would have been nice) - that were slowly replacing that which I had lost. I brightened.  
  
"How long have you known we were in your lands, Haldir? I thought I heard rustling while we were camping last night..."  
  
Haldir laughed, and it was a nice sound. Laughter had been missing from our group for too long- since the 'are you calling me fat?' incident, I realised.  
  
"Yes, we were there. We were lucky Legolas was not on guard at that moment, he would have surely heard us. Rumil dropped one of his knives- perhaps you heard that? We had to retreat a little after you went to sleep, Aragorn was very alert, and he would have heard us with no distractions."  
  
Aragorn laughed too. "A subtle compliment indeed, Haldir. I don't think it's quite true though, nothing can hear the Lothlorien guards when they are careful."  
  
Haldir had a smile in his voice. "Try telling that to my noisy brother."


	9. Interlude with The Lady

_Hello! Sorry about being unclear in the last chapter- Legolas has met Haldir before elsewhere. Blondeducky, you'll love me for this. Didn't I promise you? Es xx_

**Chapter Nine- Interlude with The Lady  
**  
Frodo seemed uneasy that night. He, Sam, Merry and Pippin were sharing a talan, but I could hear him turning sleeplessly from the talan I shared with Aragorn and Boromir. Legolas and Gimli had been put up together, with my 'encouragement'. There had been some trouble, in that Haldir wanted to blindfold Gimli as they got closer to the city (Haldir and Gimli hated each other on sight), but Gimli had refused without Legolas being blindfolded too, which was childish, and Aragorn had tried to reason with him. The only solution they could come up with was for all of the Fellowship to be blindfolded. Aragorn and Haldir had argued, but Aragorn had won the first battle- we went unblindfolded to our talans, where they would talk about tomorrow's journey then. Haldir was almost as stubborn as Aragorn, so I couldn't see it being a quick argument. I could hear them from where I slept.  
  
"Haldir, be reasonable. Elrond trusted Gimli to be part of our Fellowship, which is trusted with a mission of great importance. Can you not trust him to see your beautiful city?"  
  
"Aragorn, I do not trust dwarves! We have not trusted them since the great betrayal. Do you think an elf would be allowed the location of a dwarven city?"  
  
Troy sighed at my feet. I felt the same- I had had enough. Aragorn was exhausted, and needed to sleep. He didn't need this kind of hassle. Perhaps I could help him, as Gandalf would have wanted.  
  
"Aragorn?"  
  
He came over, and helped me to where he and Haldir stood. I must have looked a mess; my last bath had been before the Mines of Moria, but I was sure the men looked as bad- I could smell the fact they hadn't bathed much longer than I. Except Legolas, who annoyingly smelled fine all the time.  
  
"Thank you. Haldir, you are proving by this reluctance to trust, that elves are as bad as dwarves. Would it not be better to allow Gimli to see the splendour of Lothlorien, and to show that elves are more gracious than dwarves? I will never see your city, but if you do this, I will know your kindness and intelligence."  
  
Haldir didn't speak for a time, but when he did, I was surprised by the rawness of his voice.  
  
"Lirimaer, it grieves me that you should never set eyes upon Lorien greatly. I see now your wisdom. I will allow the dwarf to pass through our city, so he may see it for you- he shall be lent your eyes. I hope he will repay the debt he owes you."  
  
I suddenly understood. Haldir pitied me, he was proud of his beautiful home and could not imagine the horror of not seeing its beauty every time he wanted. I longed to see, but the thing I wanted to see most was the beauty of a spring morning. The dampness, the freshness, the greens, blues that I remembered like a dream. I wished I could cry, but my eyes merely reddened and itched. I wanted to rub at them, but I couldn't. Slowly I felt a tiny drop of wetness at the corner of my eye. I couldn't believe it. "Mina? Are you crying?" Aragorn had spotted the redness, and the wetness, which had slid from my eye to my cheek. I was amazed. I marveled.  
  
"Yes...I can cry. Aragorn, my eyes are healing!" It dawned on me. Hope. I flung my arms around the nearest person to me.  
  
"I can cry!" I cried, elated, wondering. Haldir, who had stiffened at my hug, hugged me back. "Yes, but don't." He said kindly back. Aragorn wiped away that single tear that threatened to fall from my chin, and took my hand as I released the elf captain.  
  
"Can you see anything?" Aragorn asked gently. I shook my head. The fire we had made supper on had been brighter than usual, and I told him so.  
  
"I will make you some athelas paste, and you can put it on every morning, cousin. For now, I think we should all rest."  
  
Gimli was gruffly pleased the next morning, when Haldir courteously asked him to walk at the front with him, but I was busy telling Legolas about the tear last night. He seemed as happy as I was, and offered to help me put the paste on if I needed help. He described the scene around us as we went, until we got to Galadriel's tree. At the bottom of said tree, Haldir stopped, and came to stand by me.  
  
"Lirimaer, Lady Galadriel would like to see you first. I will go with you. Is that well?"  
  
I nodded, and let go of Pippin, who was guiding me at the moment.  
  
"As long as Troy comes too. Which way?"  
  
"Up. There is a staircase in front of you. All the steps are about a foot wide, ok? There is a banister on one side, and I will walk on your right. Is that ok?"  
  
Rumil, Orophin and the other guards stayed with the Fellowship, who cautioned me anxiously as I ascended. It wasn't too hard, but it seemed like we had gone round and upwards forever, when Haldir warned gently, "We turn left in one steps time. That's it. Now forwards four steps. Good, now right one, forwards two. Good. Do you want to sit?"  
  
A cool voice echoed in my head. "I am sitting, do sit with me."  
  
I nodded. "Sure. Troy, lie down." I said out loud.  
  
"Welcome, Mina Lirimaer. Would you like anything to drink or eat? No? The hound? Very well. Haldir, wait outside please."  
  
Haldir's presence moved away from my back. "Hello, Lady Galadriel. Thanks for letting us in to Lothlorien, the men really need a break- they are so tired."  
  
"Hello, Mina. More than a break, perhaps, they need a bath." I laughed in delighted surprise. Lady Galadriel also had dry humour, it appeared.  
  
"Yes, a bath is definitely a good idea. The smell has been terrible."  
  
"I can imagine. Mina, this may sound rather abrupt, but I would like to do something for you. I knew your parents fairly well, and they performed a service for my brother, which helped him greatly. I would like to offer you a home here. I also can offer you something dangerous that you want. I can offer you your sight back."  
  
Galadriel had a kind voice, which made her offer all the more surprising. I was stunned into silence, and I absently reached a hand down to Troy.  
  
"Do not answer now. I can tell you this- I cannot just make your sight reappear. It would take powerful magic, and you would have to perform certain tasks, but it would speed the healing process. It is dangerous, though. The magic is powerful, and with the evil Frodo carries, even more dangerous. There is this chance, however. You will regain your sight naturally, but it will take six years, and you will never see some of your friends. I offer you a home here, for as long as I can, also, and that offer I beg you to accept the home, even if you do not stay here."  
  
My thoughts were whirling. What offers!  
  
"Thank you...Wow. I'm sorry, it's just...I never imagined..." Regaining some use of tear ducts was obviously inconvenient now. A cool, gentle hand rested lightly on my shoulder.  
  
"Mina, I have a child. Apart from her, you are the only person who has made me feel motherly in many years."  
  
Having lost a mother, those words were very welcome, if surprising.  
  
"Thank you for everything. I...My mother is dead. You feel like her."  
  
I said, rather simplistically. What I meant was the sense of safety and affection they both inspired in me, and she seemed to understand.  
  
"She is dead? Alas. She was my friend, and friend to others. I am sorry to hear that, Mina."  
  
She seemed very sad, and I, impulsive as always, reached out to hug her. To my amazement, she hugged me back, and I felt her slimness, her height, her grace. She rested her head on my shoulder for a moment, then drew away, and I realised my shoulder was damp.  
  
"Don't cry, please, she is happy- she went with father, and I know Eru is taking care of them." I patted her knee. "Your mother was the only person apart from my husband I have hugged since my brothers went away." That sounded very lonely to me. As lonely as I would be without the Fellowship.  
  
She straightened. "Ai, this must cease. Mina, I will send you with Haldir to one of my ladies, who will help you bathe and dress you. Haldir will get a tent set up for you near to the Fellowship, where you can sleep. I will see you in a few days, Minarwen."  
  
She used my polite casual address to help her sort out. I sensed she had somewhere else to be, and stood as she did. Troy lumbered to his feet with me.  
  
"Thank you, Lady Galadriel, you've been so kind."  
  
She pressed my hand, and her amazing cool light moved away, as did her aura. She was leaving.  
  
"I will see you soon, Mina. Ask for anything you need."  
  
Haldir came in after she had left.  
  
"Are you well, Mina?" He asked carefully, taking my hand and shoulder to guide me out. "Yes, I'm fine. Just sad for her."  
  
He didn't understand, I could tell, so I asked him where we were going next.  
  
"Handmaiden Palaniel's talan. You will like her, she is very...warm. Comforting. Friendly. Pretty, too..."  
  
He was right. Palaniel was pleasant and easy, and she dressed me in one of her old dresses (it felt brand new, but she assured me it was not, and that she'd make a new one for me as soon as she could, while I assured her I really didn't need one) after bathing me, dried my hair for me, dressed my hair for me, gave me a nightgown, pair of slippers, hairbrush, towel and toothstick (a strange and primal toothbrush which works quite well) and took me downstairs to my tent.

On the way, I learnt that Galadriel was with the Fellowship now, and might be for some time. I felt clean, elegant and generally good as I was taken into my tent, and put to bed by the elleth I had grown to really like, who made a fuss of me in a sisterly fashion ('brush your hair...It's so pretty, you should brush it lots...) Troy jumped up to my side, and I smelt his clean fur with every breath; I was not the only one who had been bathed.  
  
I heard Aragorn look in, but I was fuzzy with sleep and only managed a groaned 'hey' before going back to sleep. I vaguely heard him announcing to the others that I was well, but asleep, and to keep the noise down, and the rattle of cookery utensils, then I slept.


	10. Breathing Space

**Chapter Ten: Breathing Space**

When I awoke, I heard nothing. To the average mortal, this would be only a little strange. To one of the dunedain, odder, but to me, who had lived through sound, it was almost isolating. Not even Troy's heavy, even breath. Where was my dog? I didn't know where anything was- I had been too tired to work out where tables stood in relation to bed when I had been put to bed last night.

Cautiously, I sat up, and felt around the edge of the bed. Nada- nothing. Ok… I carefully swung my legs over the side of the bed, braced for a crash as I knocked something over. Silence. Bit by bit, I managed to find my way about my tent. It seemed relatively large- the bed stood in the center, then, opposite the foot of the bed was the entrance flap.

Behind the low headboard stood a small chest, for clothing, I imagined. To it's right (about four paces) was a small dressing table. I sat down and played with the small presents that had been left for me. A hairbrush, which felt cool to the touch and engraved sat to my right. To my left, a dish of water and a bar of soap (for my face and hands, I thought, remembering the larger baths in Nasilie's apartments). In front of me were three jars, a toothbrush and a small pot.

I dimly recalled Nasilie telling me about them as she used them on me last night. The small pot was a soothing balm, ideally for sore skin, lips, eyes and (for elves) ears. The smallest jar was a sort of tooth scrub (not minty- very strange), the next a face wash, and the largest a sort of general cleansing and moisturizing cream.

I tried them all out, remembering to brush my teeth last, and left the dirty water, unsure of what to do with it. Next, I found the towel, by tripping over it. It was folded neatly on the floor, next to the table. Able to dry my face more thoroughly (I had used my nightie, feeling rather guilty), I then began to look for clothes.

My clothes. Which weren't there. All I could find was a rather thin- seeming dress. My mind began to run with embarrassing situations- what if it was only an under-dress type thing, like a shift, and I walked out there and everybody laughed? What if it was supposed to be worn over something, and I walked out, and was arrested for gross indecency? What if it was only another nightie?

I found my way to the bed and sat down. There was some water on my bedside shelf-thing, and I reached for it gently. My hand brushed a small metal object as I picked it up, something I hadn't noticed before. I drank, and then picked the new object up. It was a tiny bell. Hesitantly, I tried it. It was quiet, and melodious, and, to my surprise, produced a youngish voice that called questioningly from the tent flap.

"Can I help you, Minarwen?"

"Who are you?" I asked in return, and then realized how impolite this was, and assessing myself, that I was a little afraid without Troy by my side.

"I mean, yes, probably, but only if you have the time…what I'm trying to say, is yes please." I recovered my dignity, if a little too late. I heard footsteps, very light, and the slight swish of a dress. Both were very welcome- I had started feeling rather alone.

"My name is Yevanna, Minarwen. I volunteered to help you and be your special guide about Lothlorien, it is an honour to be able to meet you, and I hope we will be friends. The Lady of the Light instructed me to assist you in every way I could." Ok, so I had a PA/nurse. That was cool.

"Thank you, Yevanna- please call me Mina? I am sure we'll get along very well. It is good of you to offer to help me. Do sit with me?" She seemed really nice- rather soft and gentle, but that was only a benefit in a carer.

We talked for a few minutes, and I discovered that she was young for an elf, only about 17 in human terms (about 1689, I think) and from a good family. She had offered to do this to help earn brownie points with Galadriel- she wanted to train as a border guard when she could, and the more she persevered at easier jobs, the more likely Galadriel would be to acquiesce to her request when she made it.

I wondered if this gentle elf maid was really fit for the rigors of fighting, myself, but decided that Galadriel would know best. I told her about my travels with the Fellowship and Troy in a rather sketchy manner, and of my parent's death. She seemed saddened, and then brightened, her voice becoming brisk.

"Well, we should finish dressing you, Mina- you'll catch cold! Come, here is your shift, and here, your overdress, and here…" She bustled around, gathering clothes, and helping me into them.

At first I had been reluctant to take off my nightie in front of Nasilie, but then she had reassured me that she had treated worse- I do not know how she knew, Galadriel I guess. However, Yevanna was younger, which I hadn't anticipated. So when she removed my nightie, she let out a soft gasp, which made me tense. _Please don't make a scene._ I prayed. _Please. Please._

She didn't. After a moment, she continued, and I began to breath again. Soon I was clothed, and she sat me by my dressing table and began to do my hair. It felt so strange- having someone brush my curls for me, arrange them until they made me look their idea of attractive. I had let no one touch my hair since before the accident. Sure, they could dress me, they could choose jewellery, but I was not a doll. Thank god there was no makeup. I felt almost shy as she stood back and told me I was done. What would my friends think? Would they think I looked nice? I sighed heavily, and allowed her to lead me to the tent flap.

Stepping out of the tent, I felt grass under my feet, warm and soft, long, and the scent of flowers on the air. I breathed in deeply, and Yevanna whispered in my ear,

"The Fellowship sleep- deeply, Mina. We don't want to wake them. Shall I show you about the area Lady Galadriel has set aside for you?" I agreed, and we were about to move away, when Legolas' voice stopped us.

"May I join you? I find I have no more need for sleep, and a need for distraction from grief. Valar, Mina, you are lovely this morning." I heard both the sadness and surprised joy in his voice.

Of course. How selfish could I get? I had lost sight of the fact that my friends had not my foreknowledge- to them, Gandalf was dead. Permanently. To me, he was in my mind, but only as a cloud of sorrow at the back of my thoughts. I mentally kicked myself- hard- and nodded.

"Thank you. Of course you may join us, Legolas. If it's ok with Yevanna? Oh, let me introduce you. Legolas, this is Yevanna Althiriel, of Laurelindorenan. Yevanna, this is Prince Legolas of Mirkwood." I hoped that would do- I was no expert. I heard Yevanna curtsey and Legolas bow. Unfortunately, I also heard her blushing.

"Yes, it would be an honour, although you hardly need a guide my lord…" She trailed off, and Legolas courteously contradicted her. "It is many years since I visited your beautiful city, and Mina and yourself will only make the remembering more pleasant. May I offer you my arm, Mina?" I smiled at him, and he tucked my arm in his own.

"Yevanna- will you stand on my other side?" He asked her, and I felt her blush as she took his other arm. I had forgotten how charming he could be, what with all the teasing! I grinned, and murmured softly, "Elves have terribly teasing ways…"

He squeezed my arm slightly, letting me know he recalled our conversation with Aragorn after the river crossing too, and I inhaled his woody scent. Thank the lord he was clean! That meant the others would be too. I asked him anxiously about Troy, and he replied that he had gone, hunting, Legolas believed, about half an hour before I had arisen. I must've just missed him.

Yevanna seemed quiet; she introduced certain places to us ("…and this is the oldest tree in Lorien…and this is my favorite flower-meadow…and here the archery fields…") but said little more about them, seemingly shy in Legolas' presence. I couldn't imagine why- he was only tall, handsome (I imagined him so anyway), courteous, amusing, brave, loyal, famous, charming and a royal- most women's dream! (Not that I'd evertell him that; his head was bg enough as it was...Nope, didn't understand that at all.

However, she seemed to be resisting all his efforts to stop her shyness. Which was weird. She wasn't being rude at all- the contrary, she was polite, friendly, but she kept apart from him. As soon as she could, without being rude, she moved to my other side 'to help me'. With an elf either side, one already an experienced guide, I was in no fear of stray branches, but I had not tripped before either.

There was something interesting in all of this, and I resolved to find it out. But unfortunately, someone got in the way.

"Haldir!" Called Legolas suddenly, making me jump. I listened intently. I could hear the marchwarden's approach to my right. Legolas released me for a moment, and Yevanna tightened her grip. I drew her away to the side slightly, determined to ask why she was so damned nervous.

"Yevanna- you seem a little shy? Don't be afraid." I tried to calm her as I whispered. She drew me further away from the two males, who were talking, unconcernedly about weapons.

"Minarwen, you do not understand- you travel with a prince of elves! Legolas Thranduilon has much status here. Haldir, Marchwarden of Lorien is one of Lothlorien's foremost warriors! I wish to join his battalion –eventually- in the border guards, if I am worthy enough! It is an honor to be in their presence, of course, but I wish to join my Lord Marchwarden's guards- I cannot get ideas above my station!"

I got her- it must be like being introduced to Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp and told to go and take a stroll with them. I laughed at the idea, and then thought about how to go about the rest of our day.

"Well Yevanna, I think Legolas would like you to be a little warmer. Do not fear- I shall make sure he doesn't think you are currying favor or anything. Perhaps see this as an opportunity to show Haldir how competent you are?" I suggested warily. She seemed quite excited by the whole thing. Just at that moment, Legolas called to me.

"Mina! Haldir has some throwing knives! We can begin your lessons- Haldir will join us as we walk to the practice fields!"


	11. Closing the Distance

**Living Blind XI - Closing the Distance**

_Draw hand back…don't move…keep facing at the target…hold knife blade firmly…bend arm correctly…THROW!_

I was concentrating desperately hard, not wanting to miss- again. The knife-throwing lesson was going well. By that, I mean that I had hit the target twice in a total of 57 throws. Not bad for a blind girl, but I was getting discouraged.

Legolas and Haldir kept assuring me that I was doing very well; my technique was improving, and reminding me that it would be easier with living targets, as I would hear and smell (if they were orcs) them. _Yeah,_ I thought, _but what if they stand still?_ This time, the rewarding 'thunk' brought applause from more than two people.

"Well done, Mina!" I heard Aragorn call. Smiling, pleased, I turned to where I thought Legolas was- he and Haldir sounded rather similar in pitch, and I didn't always know whom it was if they'd only said a few words, so I told them apart by their scents; Legolas smelled very sandalwood and musk, whereas Haldir was more of a 'summer fruits' kind of smell. I'd be in big trouble if they switched cologne's! I held out a hand, and he placed another knife in my palm.

"I'm going to try again." I announced determinedly to my main teacher. Aragorn took up a place beside Haldir- all well behind me.

I concentrated until I thought my head would explode, remembered everything I could, stayed still until calm filled me from head to toe. I did a stupid exercise my psychiatrist had taught me after the fire. Rosebud opening to the sun. Rosebud. Sun. Then I threw. And missed.

"It was very close, Mina." Aragorn said supportively, "and your technique is improving excellently." I sighed.

"Perhaps we should stop for today- we will be late for lunch as it is, and you must keep building up your strength," Haldir said tactfully, and I heard him stride past me, towards the irritatingly undamaged target to gather the knives. Legolas laid a hand on my shoulder, and, seeing my downcast face, he suggested something that made me smile hopefully.

"Estel, perhaps before supper or tomorrow, if we are not too weary, we could instruct Mina in the basics of close combat? There may come a time when she has thrown all the knives she has."

Aragorn stepped closer- I could hear his boots crunch the fresh grass, and sense him more closely. His kingly aura was more diminished than any of the elves, but I was used to it, and could pick it out more easily than I could distinguish between any of the elves (apart from Legolas, who was very distinctive). His earthy smell was rather pleasant now he had bathed.

"You are right. We shall see after some food, I think."

I got the feeling that he wanted to say more, but was holding it back. What was this? Some macho part of the guy code? Never mind. If I had learnt anything while travelling with nine males, even such a mixed group as ours, it was do not break the guy code. And to eat while the food was there, or it might not be there long enough for me to eat it.

I smiled at the memories that brought, and allowed Legolas to lead me towards our little campsite. As we approached, we heard raised hobbit voices, arguing loudly. Legolas sighed, but I could tell he was smiling as he did so.

"I'll wager my knife it's about food," said Aragorn, and a smile was also in his tone.

"No bet," I said, clutching Legolas arm as we entered uneven ground.

"Do they ever argue about anything else?" Legolas asked sardonically. He was right- the four hobbits were a very closely-knit group, and only food had ever split them into factions before. There were two factions- Frodo and Sam, who wanted to keep food for everyone, and Merry and Pip, who didn't. It was quite amusing most of the time. Except the rare times when Merry and Pip won. Soon we could hear the argument.

"You will!"

"You won't!"

"So? You do!"

"You don't!"

"Exactly. You say you will, but we know you won't!" ()

Aragorn strode ahead of us, and we heard his cheerful greeting break up the argument. Since Gandalf's fall, he had become more and more naturally our leader, and we all gave him a sort of respect-boost. I don't think he liked it much; he seems to think it puts him further away from us- or at least, that's what I gather from it. But it was good for the rest of the Fellowship and I; we'd pulled into more of a team since we'd all had to share mourning grief. I was doing my best to follow Gandalf's instructions, and mother them all a little. They pretended that I mothered them too much, but I secretly suspected they rather enjoyed it.

"Look, Pip, Mina's back!" Called Merry excitedly.

"How was your lesson?" Frodo asked, as usual managing to cut straight to the core of the matter. I nodded, but Legolas, normally content to leave chatter to others, cut in.

"She will be very good if she continues to practise. I have never known such an unerring sense of direction."

These words of praise from our normally taciturn companion stunned me, and perhaps the hobbits too, as they were quiet for a moment after he had spoken. Aragorn tagged on a little comment of his own that touched me.

"I am proud of you, cousin."

I let go of Legolas' arm, and walked towards the campfire. I had not mentioned it yet; scared perhaps of raising my hopes, but I was pretty sure Aragorn's athelas ointment was doing a whole lot of good. I thought I could see a slight glow where the fire could be, and every time I was reminded of the possible healing, my heart blossomed with joy. To my surprise, Boromir came and sat next to me.

"Are you thirsty? I know weapons training is hard work- my father used to make myself and my brother train four hours a day, and you have done near that. On our first day, aged fourteen, Faramir and I fell asleep half an hour afterwards, and did not wake for another day!"

I chuckled along with him and accepted water, thinking that I'd be truly glad for my rest tonight. However, I had a plan, and no mere tiredness was going to make me quit! Besides, I knew I'd feel better after food and a rest- well enough to do what I had in mind, anyway.

I was right. After two gorgeous -compared to our usual stew- plates of perfectly done fish and vegetables, I felt energised and refreshed. I'd always been sporty; before I had known the truth about my heritage, I had considered going into physiotherapy, but the very air of Lothlorien seemed to hyper-oxygenate, cleansing, reviving, healing. I lay back- carefully- and imagined what I might see, if I was to suddenly open my eyes and take in colour once more.

Multicoloured leaves, soft greens, bronze, copper, shades of reddish gold, yellow like hay, yellow like sunshine, yellow like gold leaf on the edge of a book, or painted on canvas. Deep orange, dark, velvety reds. It was autumn in the woods; and the time of the elves was fading, I recalled. The trees seemed to emanate sorrow; it was over, their time of peace, when they spoke to mortals, and watched over them, guarded them, provided for them. A wave of gentle sadness, hung faint in my mind, like that of a parent sending their only child into the cruel world. Parted perhaps, forever.

I jumped as Legolas laid a hand on my shoulder. I had been deep in my imagination, and failed to sense him. I spoke without thinking.

"The trees are sad you all must leave."

I felt him start with surprise. His smooth, deep voice reminded me of melted butter and sugar stirred together in a finely made bowl, richly, delicately,accented.

"Yes. Can you sense it too? It has been such in my home for only thirty mortal years or so, but the Golden wood has been deepening its colour for a hundred at least. You must not be sad; we do not leave yet."

He must have seen me frown; autumn for over a hundred years? How I would have longed to see it- now and before; in spring and summer. He failed to mention that their leaving of Middle Earth was already at hand, and I listened for Aragorn's voice automatically- the elves of Rivendell were his family, and he would feel the pain most keenly.

"And I am glad of it, lassie! The depths of Middle Earth have still much to reveal to us, and I would like it if young Legolas here could have a taste of proper dwarven hospitality, in return for the Lady's kindness."

I hear Gimli's voice take on a wondering tone at his own mention of Lady Galadriel. He was simply stunned by her; and had not conceived of such beauty- that I would never see. Another thing I regretted.

"That sounds like an excellent idea, Gimli!" I encouraged them: their growing friendship was most useful to all our companions.

And so we sat, chatting amongst ourselves, Aragorn and Legolas begging off more training in favour of discussing a better training plan, which was when I decided to 'have a rest'. With my practise knives clutched loosely in one hand as I walked steadily towards my tent.

* * *

(Yes, I was listening to The Zutons. Sorry!) 


	12. Secrets and Visitors

**Secrets and Visitors**

Everybody has their secrets. Large or small, important or mundane, but all very personal. This was to be mine. I had decided, after my fortieth throw, suddenly, that I was going to get extremely good at this; as good as I had been with my eyes uncloaked. It would be good for me, I was sure, and help me to become more independent.

So, I went in one side of my tent, walked around my bed, and called softly to Yevanna, who answered softly. I told her quietly of my intentions, and happily, she saw no harm in them, other than my companion's possibly worrying about my whereabouts. So she added to my plan, and, after washing my face, and attending to a few things, including the return of an ecstatic dog who jumped all over me enthusiastically, we strolled out of my tent, arm in arm and Troy bounding ahead of us, and called to Sam that we were off sightseeing.

Yevanna had my knives cleverly concealed in her dress, and I had my wrist-sheathes (crucial in learning to throw knives, particularly in my case- a nick in the wrong place is a serious business) in my smallish belt pouch- lucky they were malleable leather, and not stiff, and so folded well. We escaped without notice, and went straightaway to a small weapons field Yevanna knew.

At the furthest end of the training field, a meadow- small and fairly disused because of the bad light (which did not trouble me) becamethe perfect place. Yevanna set up the target 15 meters from me, and came to stand behind me holding Troy's harness tightly so he didn't chase the knives, and I began to practice.

At dinner that night I was sleepy but happy. No doubt it would be hard work at first, but it would make me fit for the journey ahead, and more importantly, much more able to depend on myself. I had a little more confidence as it was- I had hit the target six times in fifty-five throws; which was a definite improvement. Yevanna, who had, in her ambition to be a border guard, done some study and practice of her own, coached me, and became my eyes. Even Troy had proved his value, in carefully fetching the knives back by the ornate handle-grip. I set myself to sleep that night, perhaps the happiest I had been since before leaving Earth.

The nest few days progressed in much the same fashion, Troy attending me constantly since his single 'day off' as I teasingly put it. Legolas and Aragorn had come to the conclusion that learning some physical combat might improve my awareness before I tried with the knives.

Here, I was sure I could surprise them again; with the little Judo I had learnt for three years. Unfortunately, it gave me only the tiniest edge, and I re-learned how powerful the human body is, what a weapon it can be made into. And that was them going easy on me!

During the lesson, Troy had to be left at the camp to prevent him 'defending' me, and we had to move far off, so he could not hear our fighting and worry. However, at knife-practice that night, I hit the target twelve times in fifty throws, so each bruise I felt forming was, to me, a sign of achievement.

If only Boromir, Haldir, Aragorn and Legolas felt the same way!

Why is it that when men are teaching a woman to do something, they all have to get involved? Why do they all criticize every move both the opponents make? As a beginner, I was expecting some healthy criticism, but to my amusement, the three watching all claimed that my temporary adversary was either pushing me too hard, or being far too gentle. To me, each was fine: I received only those hits that I had to accept in order to get in a hit of my own, and at the end of the lesson, we were all sweating furiously.

It was harder than anything I had ever known- to feel the wind of an oncoming punch, to hear the scrape of a leg being drawn back… I was challenged, and I enjoyed every moment of it. Of course, in the bath, a week later, after hitting the target twenty six times in fifty-one throws, I was feeling a little stretched. Troy yawned on the end of my bed, as Yevanna, scrubbing my hair, was admonishing me.

"You are a mass of bruises, mellonamin! You must please take a break. Just today? There is a celebration, which all the Fellowship is invited to, the **_festival of the Stars_**, which you would enjoy? You could help me with the decorations beforehand! I hear Lady Galadriel is making a new gown for you? Please?"

I laughingly agreed; her concern was true- I did ache rather after our combat sessions, and the throwing practice, while more rewarding, was usually close after, for at least an hour.

"Thank you, my friend. I will help you beforehand, of course! It will help me to repay your kindness a little. Do I not need…" Here I hesitated a little, "an escort of some kind?"

I felt Yevanna put her head to one side, as she does when she's thinking, and I knew the answer at once. "Yes, you will- but, dearest, you are the only woman in The Golden Wood with eight eligible partners! One of them will ask you, for sure."

I heard a particularly determined tone in her voice, and knew at once that she meant to remind one of them at least to ask. "No, Yevanna. Please- don't speak to any of them of it, not yet. I want to give them a chance to ask of their own thought. If the worst happens, well, Troy is male!" I laughed, but I was slightly disturbed inside. Surely one of them would ask. Surely. Of course they would- I was being silly. Very silly. Right?

She nodded, and agreed, but I felt sure she would have a contingency plan. I knew how close we had come to be in just a week and a few days, and she would not let me go alone. I took a vague comfort in it, and allowed her to rinse my hair. Rising from my bath, I thanked her as she handed me a towel, and she turned her back to sort out a dress (which I had not worn during my training, and therefore, most of the week) for me.

As I was doing up my dress, with Yevanna's assistance, Troy raised his head, and leapt off the bed, padding to the tent flap and growling slightly; his way of announcing a visitor.

* * *

Apologies for brevity and cliffies! Love to all reviewers...and maybe chocolate stars! 


	13. Unlucky Thirteen Closing the Gaps

**Chapter Thirteen: Closing the Gaps**

"It is only I, Mina." Legolas announced himself, sounding slightly peculiar. I wondered what was up, as I called back to him- "A moment! There…Come In?"

Yevanna began to tidy away creams and such, and I could hear the disapproval in her breathing. A Prince of Elves in a lady's tent? Not good etiquette- at all.

"Mina…" He entered, and stood by the flap, and so I went to him.

"Yes? Are you ok, Legolas? You sound…indecisive?"

He coughed- making me even more suspicious. What was going on?

"No- I…er- it's nothing. Nothing at all. I'll…Maybe later. Yes. I will see you later."

He left. Leaving me slightly bemused.

Something everyone should know about elves- the suave, graceful, 'perfection'? Sometimes it's only surface. A veneer of 'elfishness' which allows them to be 'elf' rather than mortal. Legolas, as I was beginning to discover, lost that veneer from time to time. Mainly (I suspected) when he was acting on impulse rather than logic. Heart, not head, as my father would have said. I suspected each elf was as individual as each human- just better at hiding it.

Yevanna sighed loudly.

"Well, I thought he was going to ask you." She whispered, sounding a tiny bit annoyed. I laughed. "No- that wouldn't make him nervous: he has to do that all the time at home I should think. He's probably trying to work something out, and doesn't quite get it yet. I should think, to do with Boromir."

Legolas and I had been talking about Boromir rather more often than was good for us recently. He was becoming ever more schizophrenic, one moment his true self, the next, tainted. He seemed to be in serious need of help, and we were all trying to support him. My training seemed to help, and I had tried to encourage him to talk about Faramir and Denethor as often as possible (especially near Frodo).

"If you say so." Yevanna seemed unconvinced.

Palaniel, Yevanna and I had spent much of the rest of the day helping to decorate one of the main trees in which the Festival was to be held. I had never imagined such community spirit! Everyone seemed to be out, helping- about fifteen elves to a tree, and two 'supervisor' types in a group. I was set to work doing something I could do easily and well: plaiting ribbon. Palaniel and I would plait, while Yevanna held the opposite ends taught, and made our job easier. I think we must have plaited miles! I was told the ribbons were golden, silver and pale blue, and in my imagination, they were strung all about the forest, with small lanterns hung carefully from them like overgrown fireflies.

Soon, we were asked to help by directing a group of ellons carrying painted silver sticks as to where to put them- more lanterns were to be hung on these, suspended like stars in the night air. After helping out for what seemed an eternity, we were dismissed, leaving the supervisors to put some 'surprise finishing touches'. The Elves had been friendly, all asking questions in their melodic Elvish, surprised and pleased to find Ipartiallyknew a Silvan dialect that most of them spoke, and they cried out joyously as we left to prepare- "See you tonight, lovely ones!"

Back at the camp, Palaniel left, to dress- she had decided to come and do her hair with Yevanna and I, which I was looking forward to. Such a bright, happy and lighthearted friend, which mixed well with Yevanna's practicality and my secrecy. I was still mysterious by nature- deciding that the easiest way for me to not let the Fellowship know that I knew anything about Gandalf, was to say nothing, and keep myself fairly to myself. The three of us seemed set to become friends, which was pleasant- I had only mourned being surrounded completely by males but a week or so ago!

The Fellowship was, for once, all together around the fire (getting ready, I presumed) and called friendly greetings to Yevanna and I, smiles in their voices. Legolas, for once, was not there. Aragorn courteously held back the tent flap for us, and checked I was ok. He was becoming quite protective, having seen, I thought despondently, how useless I was at close-combat. Well, I smiled quietly, next time he came to teach me knife-throwing he'd get a surprise!

Yevanna made me sit with a sort of mud-mask on while she quickly dressed herself, rustling and bustling until I was dying to know what she was up to. She chatted cheerfully, careful never to make mention of our knife throwing lessons –the Fellowship, especially Aragorn and Legolas (who I particularly wanted to surprise) had sharp ears. Finally, she let me wash my face.

"Sit on the bed again, I have a surprise." She announced, while I was repeating my anointment of athelas paste.

"Ok…" I grinned, bemused and secretly pleased that she had thought of me. It was Yevanna all over, always thinking of me before herself, and it was convenient too…

"Here…" She handed me folds of material, and explained while I felt it to see what it was.

"It is the new dress I promised you a whileago…Look; it's long sleeved, so you don't have to worry, but it is very much evening wear. It is silver, trimmed with lace and pale green- yes, just there, that is the lace, and there- the green. You are very lucky- the Lady herself insisted on embroidering about the neckline and she has the most beautiful sewing!"

I was amazed- it felt as beautiful as I imagined it to look! The fabrics must have been chosen with this in mind, for the silky folds slipped through my fingers like water, and the velvet brushed my hand seductively, while satiny material firmly stroked my fingers, promising support and shape.

"It's gorgeous, Yevanna! Thank you! I will feel like a princess!"

"And you will look like one, my dear friend. As you deserve."

My eyes filled with tears- I was discovering a slight drawback in the joy of my healing eyes; everyone could see me cry. Trying to draw attention away from myself, I handed her something I had carried across two worlds.

"I want you to have this."

She opened it, and I was holding my breath, to see what she would say. It was the white gold ring I had been given by my last mortal boyfriend. I would move into the future, and by doing so, I would let go of my past. I was finallyable to begin to close the gap.

"It's beautiful!" Yevanna said reverently. I smiled.

"It's made of material called white gold, from another world. It's a friendship ring."

Yevanna hugged me impetuously.

"I shall treasure it and my children after me. Our lines shall always be friends, daughter of Elros."

At that moment, Troy barked at the tent flap again.

"Mina?" It was Legolas again.

"Can he come in?" I asked, in case Yevanna was not ready to see male-shaped things. She sounded troubled as she answered.

"Mina, you are preparing to go to a party- perhaps Prince Legolas could speak to you later? Or when you are dressed?"

"Oh come on; Legolas has seen me after being buried under fifteen foot of snow- this is nothing. He'll be quick."

I wheedled shamelessly. I was curious to see if Legolas had recovered from whatever had unnerved him so this morning, or if I was going to get more ammunition for teasing.

"Very well, but only for a moment." She agreed.

"Come in, Legolas!" I called, as if he hadn't heard every thing we had said.

I heard the tent flap move, and listened hard for his muted footsteps. Yevanna had removed my dress and stood demurely by the basin, paying us no attention.

"Mina, are you attending the Festival of Stars tonight?"

He asked. My heart quickened- was he going to ask me? I felt warm inside at the thought that he was not afraid to be seen with a blind girl, cousin to Aragorn though she might be. So many people were ashamed or afraid.

"Yes, I am. Are you?" I asked, almost shyly.

"Yes. I…ah…Mina. Haldir would like to know if you would allow him to escort you to the festival. Shall I tell him yes?"

My heart exploded. Legolas, the ears of the Fellowship, was deaf to it. So renowned for his skills, Legolas missed what seemed to me to be the death of a star in its volume. Who was Legolas going with? Why did he assume I wanted to go with Haldir? Did he think nobody else had asked? Who cares if he's right!

"Um…" I thought furiously. I wasn't going to show him that I needed him to ask me. I wasn't going to show him nobody else wanted to accompany a blind girl. I berated myself inwardly for even imagining...

"No, I'm afraid Mina already has an escort." Yevanna saved my life. I swear, she can mind-read.

"Yes, I'm sorry Legolas. Tell Haldir I'm sorry, but if it's ok, I will save a dance for him."

That sounded appropriate enough, and it tied in with what Palaniel had told me of the etiquette for the festival. It seemed to satisfy Legolas. How could he not hear the tremor in my voice?

"He will be sorry. I will see you in an hour- the Fellowship are to walk to the Festival together."

I smiled outwardly. Inside, something I hadn't known existed was weeping.

"That'll be nice. I must get ready now- see you in an hour."

He left. A silence stretched between myself and Yevanna. Suddenly, it snapped closed, and Yevanna was hugging me as hot tears ran slowly and painfully from my burned eyes. A gulf now existed between Legolas and I, that could not be reduced until we both acknowledged it, and accepted it for what it was. And that was never going to happen.


	14. But, Honestly?

**Chapter 14: **_**'And tonight I thank the Stars/ As I count my lucky Scars/ For everything you've given me.'**_

**Foo Fighters- 'But, Honestly'.**

* * *

After the brief flare of anger, of real honest-to-God fury, two fat tears struck without warning. Yevanna sat quietly beside me, stroking my back, trying to stroke away the hurt. But the frightening truth was that I was calm. I had expected it. I had wanted...something different, but this was the truth my soul knew. I was cold inside. Brushing those valuable tears aside, I stood hurriedly, knocking off the dress which I had been holding on my lap. I dimly heard the silk and velvet pool on the ground, and Yevanna gasp, and reclaim it, laying it on the bed.

"Mina. Please, do not take this so to heart...Elves, too can be thoughtless, and can miss things that are so obvious to all others. You shall go to the Festival, and dance, and be the brightest star there, and one day your patience shall be rewarded."

I nodded, understanding her words, allowing them to soothe the hurt I felt. Ok, so it felt a little melodramatic, but I really did just want to curl up and die of shame. How could I have forgotten, that he was a Prince, and that I was...well, 'deformed' was not precisely true, but it was how I felt about myself. The confidence I had gained from all my extra practice with my knives had been misplaced; I had assumed that he had understood. I had made an error. But, thankfully, he did not have to know. There was yet time, if only a little, to smooth this over, and to hide the truth. I had no shame, except that Yevanna knew of my mistake, and that was no shame at all.

"You are so wise, my dear friend. All creatures have a right to be...thoughtless...Especially those of the masculine gender. Men, Elves, you name them. But...Who shall I go to the Ball with?"

Yevanna's smile was in her voice, and it was a smile of joy and mischief such that I found myself reluctantly twitching the corners of my lips in return.

"Alright, what are you planning in that devious mind of yours? Please- nobody too outrageous!"

"Would I?"

"In a word? Yes."

"Fear not...I have friends who owe me favours..."

"I'm already afraid."

"Shush, and let's send for Palaniel- she can help you prepare while I go and sort this out..."

"Sort it out how?"

"Shush, now. Brush your hair."

"Yessir!"

She handed me the brush, and left, letting Troy in as she went. I felt his comforting weight against my legs, and allowed myself a moment to embrace him fiercely, taking comfort from his strength. Thinking of all the good times I had enjoyed with Legolas, I decided that I would do as my friends suggested, I would do my best to look nice, and I would force him to notice me- to see me as I could be- beautiful.

* * *

Haldir shot the other elf a disbelieving look.

"She's not going with you, or me, or any of the Fellowship?"

"No, I am a little curious about who asked her. Must be one of her friends' acquaintances. You recall those maidens she spends time with? They must have introduced her to some other elves."

"You did ask her, right?" Haldir raised an eyebrow at him, and ran a hand through his hair in distress, mussing the fine palomino strands.

"Well, I thought about it, but when Didanele was there, in that lovely gown, I sort of...Well...She looked so beautiful and sort of charming..."

"Right." The flat tone of Haldir's voice was plain.

"Oh stop it- she's got a date, hasn't she? You're just jealous." Legolas spoke frankly, ignoring the flicker of annoyance that the other elf dared to question his actions.

"Yes, I am. Why aren't you?" Haldir leapt off the branch they had shared, making it clear by his abrupt exit that he wasn't interested in pursuing the conversation. Legolas watched the branches sway before him, and examined that strange statement. He turned it over in his mind, once or twice, then let it go, allowing Didanele's suggestive, bold eyes to fill his mind. Yes, it would be a happy evening. He might ask Mina to dance with him a few times, to fill up her time, and make sure all was well between them.

That thought settled in his mind, he jumped down, and went to begin dressing.

* * *

Mina and Palaniel had barely finished their preparations when Yevanna whirled into the tent, sending Troy skittering out of the way. Palaniel smiled at her friend's delicate looks, and best gown- she looked extraordinarily well tonight. If rather over-excited. Yevanna, in turn, looked over the other two approvingly. They would have a lot of male attention tonight, to be sure! Which perfectly suited her plan...

Mina listened intently for the sound of steps outside the tent- who was this mystery escort?

"Mina, are you ready, lirimaer? We are a little early, but I will tell Aragorn that we have gone on ahead, while Yevanna introduces you."

"To whom?"

"Mina, dearest. That would be telling."

"Nasilie Palaniel- that's just mean!" I whined, laughing at my own tone. I heard the other two stifle giggles, and imagined them both smiling widely. I felt warm inside again, female companionship melting the ice I had felt form around my heart at Legolas' words.

"Come, then, dear one. Smile!"

Yevanna took my hand, and, moving a stray lock of hair out of my face, lead me through the tent flaps. I tensed, expecting to meet my date immediately, but Yevanna gently pulled me forward.

"He will meet us by the main gates; he needed more time to finish his preparations for the feast- he is not accustomed to dances of this kind anymore."

Now that was intriguing. Very intriguing. I felt some fallen leaves crunch softly underfoot as I walked, and listened for the particular bird I had heard singing in the treetops above my tent most afternoons at dusk, finding a simple pleasure, and a measure of calm in its cooing song. The trees whispered above us, and held their leaves still so as not to touch the beauty of the sound with the patter of autumn's dead leaves. This night, spring was in the heart of the forest, and her people.

* * *

Sorry for the delay in updating, but I hope to have two new chapters up today, and perhaps more (even the final chapter!) finished and posted in the next few weeks. This fic has lingered more than it should have done, and my only excuse is that I changed, and lost sight of where this was headed. But now its back, and hopefully, much improved! Thanks to persistant reviewing love from Blondeducky, Bookworm2011, Smartbanana, Hazelelf1183 and Aglarendis, who pondered silver and gold, and allowed me to gain a clear picture of Haldir's hair.


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